More from @mizabitha

Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

@mizabitha

3 Sep

When I was 6 my dad waited in line for three days to get tickets to the Phantom Menace. He brought us all to the cinema in costume, my then-infant brother dressed as Yoda. We watched the movie in perfect silence. No one said a word until we got home, when my father began to weep.

Two months later, my parents began divorce proceedings. Now, I can't say with any certainty that my parents got divorced because of Star Wars, but the timing is eerie.

I later learned that the joint pain of the movie followed by his divorce and losing visitation rights to his four children so traumatized my father that he spent seven months in the tenement block he moved into recording a film he called Real Star Wars I on a secondhand camcorder

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Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

@mizabitha

2 Sep

Morgan and I are watching the Carl Reiner spoof movie Fatal Instinct. We're enjoying it but it's shocking how many gags feel like Zucker Brothers movie gags played at half speed.

"Sam Quentin Federal State Prison" is a great background gag

Omg, Carl Reiner does a Hitchcock cameo all done up to look like Hitchcock, that's great

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Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

@mizabitha

1 Sep

I've seen multiple variations of this take doing beaucoup numbers on here and I don't... get it? I've not seen anyone calling it the Texas Taliban but even if I did I don't think it would be reasonable to take it as meaning "the literal Taliban has moved into Texas."

Is it a point about Islamophobia? Is it a call to action to talk to Brendan at this hypothetical youth group? We can't be sure because the ultimate point of these tweets is to make everyone feel smarter by chastening people who don't exist for doing a thing no one is doing

i may be extra annoyed by the obvious plagiarism but i'm too annoyed by both of these people to check who stole from who

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Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

@mizabitha

20 Feb 19

My brother died when I was eight but my parents had just bought a car that day so when I got home they sat me down, bought me McDonald's, and told me that my brother was a Transformer from the planet Cybertron and he would be living as our car now, as a 2001 Chevrolet Prizm

And I loved that car. I mean, I knew it wasn't really a Transformer. I knew my brother had passed away. But it was the family car, I spent a lot of time in it, getting dropped off at school before my dad drove on to work. I learned to drive in that car.

And my parents always kept up with the façade. I realized my brother was dead within a few, uh, weeks of it happening and they must have known I caught on, but they kept it up. "Hop in your brother, Abby," my Dad would say every morning before we drove to church.

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Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

Abby Denton, Foremost Heresiarch of Uqbar

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