sometimes if i sit around or lie down doing nothing long enough i experience a thing i’m not sure i know a word for. like an interruption in my self-consciousness or self-experience? a discontinuity in my tracking of what is going on? anyone know what i mean?
i’m used to that thing being continuous so it’s weird to experience it even temporarily shut off. i might just be falling asleep, not sure. i don’t think that’s always what’s happening tho
like okay right now i’m aware that time is passing and i’m also sort of building a continuous strand of memory, like i remember roughly what i waa doing 5 minutes ago and it feels like 5 minutes have passed and so on. sometimes those experiences get interrupted...
...and then i feel like i “come back online” starting a fresh strand of memory that isn’t connected to the previous one, and there’s a gap in my memory and my awareness of time passing. again, simplest explanation is that i’m just falling asleep lol
i still don’t think i’m always falling asleep tho - when i fall asleep my throat usually hurts afterwards b/c of sleep apnea and my throat usually doesn’t hurt after this thing happens
hmm @nuanceexists suggests “zoning out” that’s good that’s like a nice normal boring word, let’s go with that
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the last time i held anything resembling a real job i noticed i wanted someone in the organization to get mad at me for not producing very much output and hold me to a higher standard and no one ever did
there's a scene at the beginning of the suicide squad where bloodsport's daughter is visiting him in jail and she *wants him to get mad at her for stealing* and gets mad at him for not doing that, which reminded me of this
also reminded of the chapter in running on empty about permissive parents - they explicitly call out being too permissive and never saying no to a kid as a kind of neglect and this was probably the most surprising and unintuitive chapter to me in the entire book
apropos of nothing in particular, high-profile liars and cheaters and scammers fascinate me because the more high-profile they became before they got caught the more they reveal about what it is currently most profitable to pretend
i am thinking about elizabeth holmes but also anna delvey / sorokin, the fyre festival guy, the youtuber dream who cheated at minecraft, crypto scams generally
anyway please enjoy this very interesting video about a different guy who got caught cheating at minecraft, there's actually a cool explanation here of what tipped people off that the runs seemed fake
poll (also would love to hear more detailed responses): have you ever "just decided" or "just willed" that you would change in some way, e.g. give up smoking or drinking, become a kinder person, a large change like that? if so, did it stick?
i'm gonna try to just decide to become a person who can just decide to change, i'll let you know if it does anything at all
wow this is the most informative poll i've tweeted in awhile, thanks everyone
tried to install minecraft shaders again and it is making me feel like an idiot somehow. i tried downloading forge and then optifine and forge was fine but optifine made minecraft crash, and now i can't find it to get rid of it because i... can't find the mods folder
i think it's supposed to be in /Library/Application Support/minecraft but there is no such folder and i don't know where else it would be
i really don't understand how a mac's file system works at all
anyone know where i should be looking?
this did it, thanks. the one under my username was hidden. jeez
good art in a game can be a double-edged sword. if a game offers you a beautiful landscape and nothing to do with it, it’s more of a 3d painting than a game as such. imo there’s an art to “gameplay and art integration” that i’ve actually never seen anyone discuss
minecraft is a great example here; everything looks beautiful and you can interact with all of it. the structure of an ocean temple or whatever is not just pretty art, it represents a collection of blocks you can mine and repurpose. your field of view is full of game-relevance
compare to, to pick a random example, bravely default. my main peeve with this game is that when i’m walking in a town i can look at either the top or the bottom screen, and while the top screen has pretty town art the bottom screen is a million times easier to navigate by