Thread by @owenbroadcast

little kids talk to me while im walking my dog (which is cool) but dont understand the concept of ending a conversation so i now often find myself saying “wow thats cool. k, i gotta go. bye!” for the 11th time to a kid who is telling me, literally, everything they know about dogs

(its been five minutes and ive genuinely enjoyed the talk but my dog is getting antsy). alright cool, thanks for talking to me, i gotta run, bye!

“my dog is... ...
brOwn”

wow cool. yeah my dog is white. haha alright bye!

“shE are a lollipop one time”

wow thats crazy. wow.

theres also the special detail in this anecdote that my dog is not really trying to be Around People, so we’ve been having this conversation from like 15 feet away, so a kid is now yelling at me, basically, about a time their dog ate a lollipop. this happens every 3 to 4 days.

the final detail here is that kids dont exactly have a filter, i guess i dont seem like a Stranger (red flashing lights), and this happens everywhere i go with the dog now, so every now and then im standing there and a kid is yelling to me a very personal story, about their life.

so now this little kid is yelling to me about like, their little sister or something, + maybe a car drives by slowly with the windows down, or a guy is on his porch somewhere, and i want to be like, hey, just so you know, other adult here, i didnt ask for this. this just happened

im not some Sicko cruising The Block looking for little kids to give me long tales about their little sisters, ok. this just happened. im being respectful. im ushering this kid into the wider community, i guess. this isnt a situation i sought out, that i went looking for. alright

lo, weary traveller. rest-eth ye bones and i will tell-eth thee the song i have sung many nights, for i am a wee bard of this land, and i bring forth from my lawn a song of every trick my dog knows and when we taught it to her and did you know that she likes other dogs but someti

https://twitter.com/szarka/status/1436924031060615170