Thread by @tressiemcphd

I started a little indie show called The Crown. You probably haven’t heard of it. These people are horrible.

I will say that one good thing about being royal is somebody packs your luggage for you. So there’s that.

This is too many rules and everybody is so racist.

I also didn’t have a black dress when my father died but I had to go to Chico’s myself. Like an animal.

I’m from Eastern NC and even I know that they’re probably reading your mail, Albert. what a complete doofus tool.

One thing I don’t understand is how the food doesn’t look very good. I mean, if you own half the globe wouldn’t you have something fried?

Is there a point at which this Queen grows a pair or am I going to watch 90 hours of a dewy eyed white woman with absolutely no pay-off?

Not me asking questions like this isn’t based on a true story

Wait. Am I rooting for the monarch?? I have really lost the thread. Paging Habermas.

Is Phillip the first fuckboi

It’s bananas to me that neither of these chicks had ever read a single book about the job of Queen. They just make it up as they go along when they have libraries right there.

They have barely read a real book and that seems really relevant.

Pants used to fit horribly.

Frankly, Elizabeth makes being queen look far less exciting than Lil Kim promised.

She has procured the bag. No doubt about that. But negative swag. Negative swag.

One thing I’m going to bring to Chapel Hill is me extending my hand as I dismiss someone. Me, in Target: “yes yes of course. You may go.”

You never ever trust the hanger-oner. They always talk. Always. This fool basically sent a 1950 tweet about the Prince’s every heaux move. Can’t help it. It’s unfair to ask people to even keep these kind of secrets.

See also: Erykah Badu up at The Obamas house posting selfies. You know that girl could t hold water that hot. It’s not even fair to ask it of folks.

Philip acting like a petulant child is exactly like the time I won club president and my boyfriend won Vice President and the look on his face when it was announced is how I first understood disgust. Trust me on this. You gotta dump him.

She has to make this punk a prince just so he would stop whining. 😂😂😂😂

Did Bruh drop his wife off at her man’s house with a dignified “how do you do”??? British people are a trip