I started a little indie show called The Crown. You probably haven’t heard of it. These people are horrible.
I will say that one good thing about being royal is somebody packs your luggage for you. So there’s that.
This is too many rules and everybody is so racist.
I also didn’t have a black dress when my father died but I had to go to Chico’s myself. Like an animal.
I’m from Eastern NC and even I know that they’re probably reading your mail, Albert. what a complete doofus tool.
One thing I don’t understand is how the food doesn’t look very good. I mean, if you own half the globe wouldn’t you have something fried?
Is there a point at which this Queen grows a pair or am I going to watch 90 hours of a dewy eyed white woman with absolutely no pay-off?
Not me asking questions like this isn’t based on a true story
Wait. Am I rooting for the monarch?? I have really lost the thread. Paging Habermas.
Is Phillip the first fuckboi
It’s bananas to me that neither of these chicks had ever read a single book about the job of Queen. They just make it up as they go along when they have libraries right there.
They have barely read a real book and that seems really relevant.
Pants used to fit horribly.
Frankly, Elizabeth makes being queen look far less exciting than Lil Kim promised.
She has procured the bag. No doubt about that. But negative swag. Negative swag.
One thing I’m going to bring to Chapel Hill is me extending my hand as I dismiss someone. Me, in Target: “yes yes of course. You may go.”
You never ever trust the hanger-oner. They always talk. Always. This fool basically sent a 1950 tweet about the Prince’s every heaux move. Can’t help it. It’s unfair to ask people to even keep these kind of secrets.
See also: Erykah Badu up at The Obamas house posting selfies. You know that girl could t hold water that hot. It’s not even fair to ask it of folks.
Philip acting like a petulant child is exactly like the time I won club president and my boyfriend won Vice President and the look on his face when it was announced is how I first understood disgust. Trust me on this. You gotta dump him.
She has to make this punk a prince just so he would stop whining. 😂😂😂😂
Did Bruh drop his wife off at her man’s house with a dignified “how do you do”??? British people are a trip

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More from @tressiemcphd

11 Sep
I spent the morning explaining the Applebee’s song to Vivian.

“Is this what they call influencing?! Am I influenced??
“I’m confused. Did he make the song FOR Applebee’s or does he really take his girlfriend to Applebee’s.”
“I like the dance. I’m going to learn it. I can’t look any crazier than he does!”
Read 5 tweets
9 Sep
Put down what you’re playing with and look at me. Look directly at me with both your eyes and your ears. Still yourself. Hear me good:

Anyone who promises that the thing they are asking you to do for free or cheap will be “easy” and “low lift” is absolutely lying to you.
They are nice people…and they’re lying.

They like you, love you, respect you…and they’re lying.

They do not mean you any harm..and they’re lying.
Every ask is a significant commitment and you need to know that and believe it and act like it. Do it for love or to get into heaven. But just know that it will not be easy, fast, low lift, quick or anything similar.
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
I do not talk about it because I don't need that hassle and I'm not really talking about it now. I'm *complaining*, which is different. But somewhere along the way I started and grew a whole ass business and holy crap is it overwhelming.
The only acceptable responses to this complaining is to 1) talk private ish about me in your group chat 2) tell me how sorry you are for me 3) offer me things to feel better that is NOT bread.
You add to this the notable increase in administration that my professor job entails and it is all my least favorite things at one time.
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
This is the kind of fantasy people have about higher education and progressivism. It is a causal boondoggle, depends on one’s definition of “sure fire”, and has notable exceptions so notable that it begs the question of the rule altogether
Do people less likely to become conservative reactionaries become that way because they go to college or are those people just more likely to go to college? There are a few surveys that try at causation but it’s a noisy mess (and I think they’re old).
I am fine with thinking higher education is generally good but I suspect that we hit the ceiling of how many white men college can turn into liberals long ago. No reason to think that this is a trend line.
Read 9 tweets
4 Sep
The move. I still have anxiety flashbacks. Whew. I eventually got everything I needed but not everything I wanted. And forget about it on services like electricians or a handyman.
You cannot even trick for a handyman type like the old days because fools out here unvaccinated. Or, uh, so I’ve heard.
I was hacked.
Read 4 tweets
4 Sep
Yep. They don’t even try to sell you. They don’t care. There are no cars and where are you going to go? Exactly.
I recently ordered a car that might be here in November. And they said that with a wink.
And my sister closed her small business because she couldn’t source the tins for her product. And frankly I can’t find the good pickles.
Read 4 tweets

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