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Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
@DanaSchwartzzz
Sep 14, 2021 • 20 tweets • 9 min read • Read on X
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Met gala looks as historical royals (a thread)

Normani / Catherine the Great
emrata / frances carr
lil nas x / philip iv
Margaret Qualley / tatiana romanov
Alicia Keys / Marie Antoinette
rihanna / christina of sweden
Kerby Jean-Raymond / John Belysase
Tessa Thompson / Mary Queen of Scots
Gabrielle Union / La Maupin
Rosalia / Mary Tudor
lupita nyong'o / Marie Antoinette
Storm Reid / Princess Mary of Great Britain
Tracee Ellis Ross / La Comtesse de Beaufort
Jeremy O. Harris / Hortense Mancini
Nikkie de Jager / Marie Antoinette
Rose Leslie / Queen Elizabeth II
Wendi Murdoch / Elizabeth I
Pete Davison as Anne Boleyn
Mindy Kaling / Princess Charlotte of Wales
Anyway, please listen to the podcast @NobleBloodTales megaphone.link/nobleblood

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More from @DanaSchwartzzz

Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Sep 21, 2022
I feel like people don't talk enough about how James Bond is controlled by the Broccoli family, of broccoli fame. they're not named after broccoli, broccoli is named after them!!!!!!!!
Imagine your family producing James Bond and that NOT being the most famous thing you guys have done
apparently this is contested, but it is very funny to me that the family says it is true!!!!!
Read 4 tweets
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Sep 16, 2022
Why is anyone wasting their breath arguing that a "mermaid shouldn't be black" when instead you could be talking about the time Hans Christian Andersen showed up as a guest at Charles Dickens's house and absolutely ruined his life for a month straight
ok ok let's do a little story time about everyone's favorite incredibly awkward Danish author:
So in 1847, the fairy tale writer Hans Christian Andersen is touring in England after some of his stories were translated into English and he meets his idol, Charles Dickens at a party and tells him what a huge fan he is.
Read 11 tweets
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
May 30, 2022
I just think it's worth paying attention to the way that self-identifying incels have purposefully (and incredibly successfully!) turned mass culture against Amber Heard in real time. People fundamentally don't understand the speed at which propaganda soundbytes travel on tiktok.
Like, it's looking like the lasting result of the #MeToo movement is the general population being ~tired of it~ and thinking it went "too far" without it actually achieving meaningful change.
I haven't really spoken or tweeted about the trial because I don't like to talk about things I don't know about and I had fully fallen into the category of "UGH I don't want to know anything about this, they're both terrible, mutual abuse etc etc"...
Read 4 tweets
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Sep 14, 2021
One (non-scientific) pattern I've come to notice in the ≈60 episodes of @NobleBloodTales I've written is how many interesting women from history are described as spectacularly beautiful. (THREAD)
(Of course, there are infinite interesting women in history. I'm speaking of the ones with the largest body of work written about them, the ones who captured the attention of the —literate—diarists and public intellectuals at the time).
Because, for a long time, a woman's only avenue to power was proximity to power—marrying an important man, or becoming an important man's mistress. THAT gave them money and freedom to pursue arts and passions. It gave them connections to interesting people who wrote about them.
Read 4 tweets
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Jul 10, 2021
A year ago, this funny guy I sort of knew from the internet invited me onto his podcast. Because of covid, our relationship began with long phone calls, and lots of texting before we eventually met in person. (I was in love almost immediately.)
In January, my cat and I moved in with him. We got another kitten, and started building a life together. The city was still shut down, so our dates were dinners at home and drive-in movies, little weekends away and home-cooked meals.
Last night, he took me on our “real” first date. And then as we were getting ice cream in our neighborhood, he asked me to marry him. I can’t tell you how I excited I am to get to share my life with the best person I’ve ever met. I love you @IanKarmel.
Read 4 tweets
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Jun 14, 2021
The Thomas Crown Affair is a great movie but it is STONE COLD BONKERS that the resolution at the end is the new york city police officer going, "you know what? I actually don't really care about people stealing art that much."
"yeah, I know a man just stole hundreds of millions of dollars worth of art from THE MET—and yes, I absolutely know who did it, but.... paint swirls on a canvas? I just don't get it! I'm Denis Leary!" Image
"you know who cares about art? rich people. Arresting rich people??? that's not what the police are for. I'm gonna devote all of my policing energy to ruining the lives of the poor. have fun on your private jet!!!!!"
Read 4 tweets

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