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Dana Schwartz - on hiatus Profile picture
Dana Schwartz - on hiatus
@DanaSchwartzzz
#1 NYT bestselling author of ANATOMY: A LOVE STORY and IMMORTALITY: A LOVE STORY. TV writer. Creator of @noblebloodtales.
3 subscribers
Sep 21, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I feel like people don't talk enough about how James Bond is controlled by the Broccoli family, of broccoli fame. they're not named after broccoli, broccoli is named after them!!!!!!!! Imagine your family producing James Bond and that NOT being the most famous thing you guys have done
Sep 16, 2022 • 11 tweets • 2 min read
Why is anyone wasting their breath arguing that a "mermaid shouldn't be black" when instead you could be talking about the time Hans Christian Andersen showed up as a guest at Charles Dickens's house and absolutely ruined his life for a month straight ok ok let's do a little story time about everyone's favorite incredibly awkward Danish author:
May 30, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I just think it's worth paying attention to the way that self-identifying incels have purposefully (and incredibly successfully!) turned mass culture against Amber Heard in real time. People fundamentally don't understand the speed at which propaganda soundbytes travel on tiktok. Like, it's looking like the lasting result of the #MeToo movement is the general population being ~tired of it~ and thinking it went "too far" without it actually achieving meaningful change.
Sep 14, 2021 • 20 tweets • 9 min read
Met gala looks as historical royals (a thread)

Normani / Catherine the Great emrata / frances carr
Sep 14, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
One (non-scientific) pattern I've come to notice in the ≈60 episodes of @NobleBloodTales I've written is how many interesting women from history are described as spectacularly beautiful. (THREAD) (Of course, there are infinite interesting women in history. I'm speaking of the ones with the largest body of work written about them, the ones who captured the attention of the —literate—diarists and public intellectuals at the time).
Jul 10, 2021 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
A year ago, this funny guy I sort of knew from the internet invited me onto his podcast. Because of covid, our relationship began with long phone calls, and lots of texting before we eventually met in person. (I was in love almost immediately.) In January, my cat and I moved in with him. We got another kitten, and started building a life together. The city was still shut down, so our dates were dinners at home and drive-in movies, little weekends away and home-cooked meals.
Jun 14, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
The Thomas Crown Affair is a great movie but it is STONE COLD BONKERS that the resolution at the end is the new york city police officer going, "you know what? I actually don't really care about people stealing art that much." "yeah, I know a man just stole hundreds of millions of dollars worth of art from THE MET—and yes, I absolutely know who did it, but.... paint swirls on a canvas? I just don't get it! I'm Denis Leary!" Image
May 25, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
In this episode of Columbo his coat is so shabby that a nun at a soup kitchen thinks he's a homeless man and insists he join them for a warm meal this is not a joke it's season 4 episode 2
May 18, 2021 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Famous people don't need to be relatable!!! I love being entertained by out of touch rich people!!!! bustle.com/entertainment/… literally why would gwenyth paltrow ever need to be IN touch? I want to read goop to find out about the insane $5000 beauty products that I will never use!
May 10, 2021 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
In what world is Midnight in Paris funnier than Bridesmaids where is Spy justice for Spy
May 1, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
you mean like....... "villains" ? ImageImageImageImage buzzfeed these are the villains of the piece
Apr 13, 2021 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Happy 20th anniversary to one of my favorite feel-better movies, Bridget Jones's Diary. I wrote about it for @bustle here: bustle.com/entertainment/… Is Bridget Jones one of the most successful female-directed franchises of all time? There's Wonder Woman and....... ?
Mar 30, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
There should be a muppets movie for literary every property in the public domain. Give me muppets oliver twist. muppets peter pan. muppets dracula. muppets frankenstein. muppet robin hood. muppet alice in wonderland. muppet wizard of oz. Oh god there is a muppet wizard of oz already. I got caught up. STILL: MORE!!!!!
Mar 21, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
A fan actually went back and counted found that @NobleBloodTales is actually closer to 40% episodes exclusively focused on women. But this reminds me of a really interesting statistic.... Image Apparently, in a crowd scene in a movie, if women are 17% of the background extras, viewers will respond that the gender ratio was 50/50. If women are 33% of the extras, the viewers will respond thinking it was overwhelming female majority.
Mar 21, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Very deeply sorry that Noble Blood, my podcast exclusively about political figures, got too political for this "normal" woman Image "just tell the story, don't tell me how to feel about it" like, okay, read an encyclopedia? Image
Mar 19, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
lol these conservative dudes cannot be obsessed with the founding fathers and ALSO the british monarchy you're either an originalist or you're not, pick a lane, "gary" or whatever
Feb 25, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Literally who cares. SO many poorly-informed people are anti-vaccination that I think it's a great idea to celebrate and promote vaccines on social media. Also the knee-jerk shaming of people taking selfies always struck me as kind of sexist? "Ooooooh I'm too smart to care about things like how my face looks or feeling good about myself! Look at meeeeeee actually no DON'T look at me because I only want attention for how smarmy and dismissive I am"
Dec 16, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
LOLLLLLL literally look at ANY historical royal court from history. ANY OF THEM! Read a single history book. Where should we start? Caroline Lamb mailed her pubic hair to her lover, Lord Byron (she was married). King Edward II was having sex with his favorite, Piers Gaveston while he was married. Being mistress to the king in french court was an official court position.
Dec 15, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
ok but give me Andy from The Devil Wears Prada frantically trying to get Meryl Streep a vaccine this is the one zoom reunion that I desperately want
Dec 4, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Writing a book that takes place in 1817 is mostly me googling "when did they invent postage stamps" and then going "darn" If I get anything wrong it's an alternate universe and the anachronism is a deliberate choice!!!!
Dec 1, 2020 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
the only thing I care about anymore is the ratatouille musical on tiktok yes I know I'm almost 28 because I found out about it from the new york times