Thread by @imprimis310

I had the pleasure of meeting Norm on a movie set once. He told me the greatest joke I've ever heard in my life. It was the story of a boy, and red and purple perforated ping pong balls.
If you've never heard it...you're missing out. Maybe, just maybe, I'll do a thread on it.

A man was driving his son to his first day of kindergarten.
Dad looked over at his son, and said "Son, if you can get thru kindergarten, and elementary school with straight As; I'll buy you whatever you want."
The son looked back and said,"OK dad, but I'll need your help."

Dad said, "I can do this."
So he walked him to his first class, and smiled has he watched him run into the room and start to make new friends.
The weeks turned into months, the months into years. The son had his ups and downs, and plenty of struggles. His dad was always

there to help and guide him. His son had the usual kids issues. Throwing snowballs at recess, putting snakes in the teachers desk, playing kissing tag with girl cooties named Nan.
Next thing you know, it's coming to the end of sixth grade. His son had done it and was graduating

with straight As, top of his class. His mom and dad going picture crazy of him up on the little stage, with his little hat and gown, and little diploma. It was a great day, and the start of many big things to come.
On the way home from the gala and festivities,

the dad looked back at his son and said,"Son, I'm a man of my word. I promised you, when you started school, that if you had straight As at the graduation; I'd buy you whatever you wanted."
The son looked up at him, with a big glowing smile, and said "Well Dad,

I have been thinking about this for awhile now. And you know what I really really want?"
"No son, I obviously don't know." exclaimed the father.
"Well dad,"he started with glee,"I really want a Red Rider Wagon. You know, the red one with the black handle. And has those little

black and white tires, with the red nobs..."
"Yes" said the dad.
"I ain't done yet, Dad." the boy exclaimed. "It's not just the little Red Rider wagon, with the black handle and little black and white tires withered the red knobs. But inside this Red Rider wagon I want

it filled to the brim, all the way to the top, until it can't hold no more, plus two, red and purple perforated ping pong balls."
His father gave him a perplexed look, and said "Son, I'm a man of my word, and if that's what you want, that's what you'll get."
A few days later

the father came home, and in the bed of his truck was a Red Rider wagon, with the black handle, and the little black and white tires with the red nobs. And in this little Red Rider wagon was, filled to the tip, over filled, plus two, red and purple perforated ping pong balls.

He pulled it out and gave it to his son.
He said, "Son, I'm a man of my word, here you go."
His son, giddy with excitement, grabbed the handle of the wagon and said, "Thanks, Dad."
He then pulled it up into the garage, and put it safely in the corner.
Well, that fall the dad

was once again taking his son to his first day of school, this time it was junior high.
The father looked over at his son, and once again told his son, "Son, I'll make you the same deal. If you get thru junior high, with nothing but As, I will buy you whatever you want."

The son looked back, and said "I got this."
Then the dad watched his son jump from the truck, once they got to the school, and run up the walkway with his buddies.
Of course, jr high is a little more than elementary. Changing classes, sports, and of course

girls don't actually have cooties.
But thru it all his dad was there to guide and help. It was a little more struggle, getting use to all the new changes.
And then, suddenly, weeks turned to months, months turned into years. Next thing they knew it was time for

8th grade graduation. Of course this is a little more formal. Little bigger caps and gowns, not made from paper and cardboard. Actual band playing Pomp and Circumstance. Mom and dad, right up front, picture taking and hooting and hollering. Everyone was so proud.

On the drive home, dad looked back at his son, and said "Son, I'm a man of my word. I told you I would get you whatever you wanted if you got straight As. You did, so what would you like."
His son said, "Dad, I have been looking at this really nice four wheeler

with a gun rack, and cargo boxes, and a matching pull behind trailer."
The dad thought to himself, well he did work hard at it. We do all right, so I can do this.
And the son kept on, "And in those cargo boxes and the matching pull behind trailer, in there I also

want, filled to the top, over flowing, plus two, red and purple ping pong balls."
Dad looked puzzling at his son, with that request, but just nodded and said, "Okay".

A couple weeks in to the summer, the dad came home from work, pulling a trailer. And on that trailer

was a new four wheeler, with a gun rack and matching cargo boxes. And behind that four wheeler was a matching pull behind trailer. In the cargo boxes and trailer, over flowing, plus two, red and purple perforated ping pong balls.
His son came running outside, has his

father was backing everything off the trailer.
He said "I'm a man of my word, son. You worked hard, so here you go."
His son screamed thank you, and jumped on. He pulled it around back, and parked it next the shed.

Summer came and went. Another first day of school.

His son was very excited to start high school. His dad, too. He looked at his son and said, "One last time son, I'll make you the deal. If you graduate with straight As, I'll buy you whatever you want."
His son, a little more hesitant, knowing of the challenges from

just two years of jr high, is now four years of high school. But he agrees, seeing he really can't lose if he doesn't do it.
So, once they got to the school, the son ran off with his girlfriend, to start his next chapter.
Of course, he was right, and it wasn't all

A pluses, but all As. He was a three sport, four year Letterman. He was in drama club and Homecoming King. There the whole time was his dad, helping to shape and mold this young man, in front of him.
Weeks turned to months, months into years. The next thing they knew

It was that time again. High school graduation was a bigger deal. Actual invitations, and pictures, and interviews for colleges. But then the big day came. Dozens of his family, right there upfront. His mom and dad his biggest cheerleaders.
On the drive to the reception

the father looked at his son, and said "I'm a man of my word. You got all As, and have set your self up to succeed at the next level. Whatever you want, I'll get it for you."
The son paused for a moment, then he said "Well dad, I would really like a Dodge 2500, blacked out

with no emblems. And the interior also blacked out. And a matching black canopy. And I would like a matching blacked out, four horse trailer. And in the bed of the truck, and in the trailer, packed to the top, over flowing, plus two, red and purple perforated ping pong balls."

Well, the dad was a little taken back. That had quite the price tag, he pondered. But, his son has earned sport and academic scholarships, so he is saving tens of thousands, just on that.
So he said, "I'm a man of my word. You worked hard, I will do it. It will take time tho."

The son smiled and said, "Thank you, Dad." And off to the reception they went.

About a month into summer, dad came home in new, blacked out Dodge 2500, with matching canopy and matching four horse trailer. And in the bed of the truck and trailer, filled to the top plus two,

red and purple perforated ping pong balls.
His son came running up, and hugged his dad. "Thanks dad, you're awesome."
"Well Son, I'm a man of my word. Here are the keys to your truck." tossing the keys over to him.
The son pulled it out front by the curb, and parked it.

A few nights later, mom and dad were heading for bed. Dad heard the garage door open. He ran to the window to look. He saw his son pulling his Red Rider wagon, the one with the black handle and little black and white tires with the red nobs, walking down the street.

Dad just shrugged his shoulders and thought, it's his, he can do whatever he wants with them.
The next night, about the same time, Dad heard his son's four wheeler, the one with the gun rack, and matching cargo boxes and a pull behind trailer.
And there he went, off into

the night.
Once again, Dad (more hesitantly though) thought, it's his he cam do whatever with it. But if he does the same thing with the truck and trailer; I might follow

Well, sure has shit, the next night, about bed time; Dad heard the truck fire up. You know the

blacked out Dodge 2500, with the matching canopy, and the matching four horse trailer.
This time he was ready, and jumped in the car to follow his son.
Up on to the highway, and headed towards the mountain pass, his dad wondered where the fuk is he going?
His dad knew

A bad set of corners on the downhill side where coming up. His son was going way to fast to handle the trailer. He tried to catch up to him. It was late, so hot a lot of traffic was on the high.
He suddenly saw the trailer lots shaking and waving, then out of nowhere it

BAM suddenly Jack knifed and rolled down the highway. The dad saw his son, ejected from the spinning wreckage.
He screeched to halt, suddenly.
He jumped from his car and ran to his dying son.
He picked him up, and held him.
He screamed, "why son, why!"
His son, choking said

"Dad...(coughing and choking on blood)...I...I"

"Son, I love you, but I need to know one thing, before you die."his father said, thru his tears. "What were you using all of those red and purple perforated ping pong balls for?"

The son struggling looked at his father.

The son looked at him and said "Dad...I was using them for....I was using them fo..."

Please do what you do, and unroll @threadreaderapp