Thread by @GeePawHill

The ideal team size for software development is five makers.

Note: No one ever asks me this, but I just felt like saying it out loud.

The ideal sprint size is don't have sprints.

Note: No one ever asks me this, either, but I just felt like saying it out loud.

The ideal branching strategy is push to head, pull from head, test at head, ship from head.

You guessed it: Nobody asked me this.

The ideal distribution of mobbing/pairing/soloing is 1/3, 1/3, 1/3, which, by the way, is the title of a hilarious short short story by Richard Brautigan.

Couldn't find anyone to ask me this one.

The ideal product specification is a description of the next problem we need to solve.

I did get asked this once, but I lost touch with the asker once we were released, so I never was able to answer properly.

The ideal way to incorporate stakeholder input is to incorporate a stakeholder as a maker.

I was actually just asked this, so, you know, now the pattern's ruined.

The ideal editing environment is the one that knows and can tell you the most about the project.

Back to unasked, except by Ingmar recently in an effort to bait me.

The ideal measurement of productivity is sit down with the group every week or two and ask everyone whether they're having a good time or not.

*Everybody* asks me this, but none of them like my answer. :)

The ideal pairing partner is the one who will tell you when they don't know where the hell you're going with this.

Again, often asked, generally ignored.

The ideal time-gap between pull and push is the smallest we can pull off that's under a half-hour.

I don't remember whether someone asked me this or not, as I have a very short attention span, on purpose.

The ideal braces placement is if this matters very much your method is too long.

Why would anyone even ask this?

Finally, the ideal cornbread is warm, a little granular, not cakey, and placed at the bottom of the bowl underneath the ideal soup.

Speaker, I yield my remaining time.

Oh, let me buttress all this with a citation. Here's 1/3, 1/3, 1/3, by Richard Brautigan.

roominate.com/pdfs/Richard_B…