Part of being open and authentic on this cursed app is you open yourself up to ridicule. The alternative is hiding your feelings behind a veneer of distanced sarcasm and nihilism. I’m not interested in that. I’ve done that. I’m done with it.
My whole life I’ve swallowed my feelings and tried everything I could to not be vulnerable. I don’t want to do that anymore. Sure, some people will try to use that against me but I don’t care. They’re static. Unimportant.
I’m a pretty good person. I have numerous faults, we all do, but I actively try to make the world and myself better in small ways where I can. I have nothing to be ashamed of, certainly not because alt right weirdos want me to feel bad.
In summation, if you feel the need to drag me down to make yourself feel better I sincerely hope you find some peace in your life and escape whatever is making you miserable. I further invite you to eat my ass. Bless.
Ended blocking the dude, which I never do, because he’s relentless. At a certain point you just gotta move on.
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I just can't imagine looking at people desperately scrambling to get over the border and think anything other than these are people who need help.
I teach English to immigrants from Latin America, many of whom are not here legally. If the process was simple and straightforward and not designed to railroad people, they absolutely would have gone through it. They live their lives in a constant state of fear.
No one chooses to swim potentially deadly currents or walk miles across expanses of barren desert because it's "easier", they do it because the alternative is impossible.
Kirby is stable. The testing revealed no signs of cancer or sepsis. He seems to have an infection in his gallbladder and they think that plus the vaccine reaction was too much for him. The focus now is on getting him rehydrated and fed (through tubes, poor guy)…
…and giving him a powerful antibiotic to knock out the infection. He’ll also get steroids to help him with the effects of the vaccination. Next few days will be critical but it sounds like there’s hope.
If he pulls through you will never see a dog spoiled so much. Two walks a day. The best food. Brand new toys.
The last few days have really made me reflect on some of the trauma I've endured, and largely tried to push aside, the last few years. About two years ago my dad was bitten by a pit bull. It caused a massive infection that nearly killed him.
He was so weak afterwards it seemed like he was fading away, then just as he started to recover he had a stroke. We thought we dodged a bullet, but within a few weeks he had a second stroke and died in his driveway trying to get to the hospital.
He worked so hard his whole life. In fact he wouldn't have been doing the work that led him to that bite if he had set aside money for retirement. He never did because he spent most of his life helping people in need. He was the most generous man I've ever known.
Since I'm thinking about weight, one interesting thing is the way it's led to be sabotaging basically every relationship I've been in. Society tells me repeatedly I'm not good enough and that I need to work harder to be worthy of anything good, including love.
So inevitably when someone shows affection to me it's scary, because in my lizard brain it means they're having to look past my very obvious flaws. My brain tells me that's not sustainable, and even though I haven't been rejected, it's inevitable.
Additionally I feel deep shame that someone has to look past my flaws to be with me, so I start pulling away. I've internalized that shame so strongly that it's palpable, and I start to feel like I'm robbing them of being with someone worthy. Truly batty stuff.
One of the most common trolls I get on here is about my weight. Yeah you’re definitely going to make me feel bad by pointing out the problem I openly talk about and am very actively working to address.
Perfect example. This doesn't make me stop and think anything about myself. The extent of my reaction is basically "well, that's someone who's unhappy with their own life".
I've been subjected to so much harassment in my life, some white noise from a guy who wouldn't so much as squeak at me in the real world doesn't move my needle.
My niece was just telling me that my faux survivalist brother used to cheat against her and he sister in scrabble when they were like 8 and 10. How could you feel good about cheating to beat children in a game?
His cheating was ridiculous. He’d hide letters under the board, sit reading the dictionary, looked up words online using his laptop, and my favorite using his then wife to set up his moves. “Here let me help you…”
I got so tired of his cheating I stopped playing, even though he lost most of the time. Just to be a dick I removed all the vowels from the game except for the Is and Us. The next game he played he got incandescently angry because he was having such “bad luck” with draws.