The last few days have really made me reflect on some of the trauma I've endured, and largely tried to push aside, the last few years. About two years ago my dad was bitten by a pit bull. It caused a massive infection that nearly killed him.
He was so weak afterwards it seemed like he was fading away, then just as he started to recover he had a stroke. We thought we dodged a bullet, but within a few weeks he had a second stroke and died in his driveway trying to get to the hospital.
He worked so hard his whole life. In fact he wouldn't have been doing the work that led him to that bite if he had set aside money for retirement. He never did because he spent most of his life helping people in need. He was the most generous man I've ever known.
My whole childhood our house was filled with different people he met that needed a hand up in the world. He'd house them, clothe them, help them find jobs and get them on their way. We were never without at least one person trying to rebuild their lives.
I remember when I was very little he brought home a co-worker and his partner who happened to be gay. He introduced them as his friend and his partner. So in my kid brain I was like "guys can have husbands too." My dad showed it was ok, so to me it was ok.
My dad never really talked about how to treat people, he just showed it. He was sincerely concerned with the welfare of people he just met and was always looking for a way to help. I still meet people who knew him and talk about how kind and wonderful he was.
Another example: we have a huge Romani community in AZ, and almost no one will rent to them. My dad went to the owner of the building he did maintenance at and advocated for them until the owner agreed to rent to them. Within a year the complex was 80% Romani.
They were so used to being treated with suspicion and even revulsion. My dad just saw people who needed someone to stick up for them, so he did.
I will never touch as many lives as he did, but it's something to aspire to. Whether it was a kind word, advocating, a few dollars, he was always there for people he didn't know from Adam. Just a phenomenal human being and I miss him every goddamn day.
I have so many funny stories about him too. He was a delightful, kind, happy, often unintentionally funny person as well, but today all I can think about is his kindness. He was my hero and I need him right now, but he's gone.
He stuck up for the Latinos he worked with probably most of all. My dad refused to let them be taken advantage of and constantly fought for them. It's a big part of why I am teaching English to immigrants now. I want to do at least a fraction of what he did.
He was such a better person than I am. I try, but I just can't do the things that he did. All I can do is do what I can and try to be ok with that.
Here's my dad and mom not long after they met and became a couple. And there they are with baby me before my little brother was born. 
And here he is with my mom, and my older brother who's been so sick at his wedding.
One of his last projects in life was trying to save my recently deceased nephew. He drove him to every doctor's appointment, drove him down to the monastery, got him clothes, helped him get into jobs. He spent hours talking with him trying to encourage him to be something more.
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