Thread by @RationalImpact

Digital Hermit🖥️🧙‍♂️
I got to get some perspective off my chest here. Despite finding my wonderful soul fam I have often struggled with feeling like I frankly don't belong in old earth or new earth at times. I've been a digital hermit my whole life.

2. I did play outside a lot as a kid thankfully but my passions were always in movies, videogames, tv shows and so on. I grew up in a very digitally dense environment and most religion and spirituality I saw only ever shamed such things, feared them or just didn't understand.

3. Somehow I got the best out of it all. This is why I so often roll my eyes when I see things about entertainment being a bad influence because for me it just wasn't, yet post awakening I can not argue that entertainment can be used very sinisterly. Its like I was immune to it.

4. And these days I can't relate to the blue pilled sleepers at all. For instance, I used to love following the game world but it hardly interest me anymore yet I still love games. I often feel to awake for the 3D world but to worldly for the 5D world. I feel wedged between.

5. So much of the "5D" world is just spiritual escapism that never grounds any greater concepts into any thing workable. I've realized that even at my most materialistic I held a lot of spirit in me. I was basically scavenging the light out from that heavy digital matrix.

6. I mean even the Art work I put out is often digital. However, I find myself wanting to be in the middle of nature more and more with far less wires and screens. Though my whole life skill set is tech based. I even went to tech school and got a degree in graphic design.

7. I only had that degree for around a year before waking up through 2019 deciding to seriously try to get into a gaming career and than boom 2020 and my whole life changed. It changed for the better no doubt but its like I had all this training for a world that no longer was.

8. Than as I woke up even more I realized that I had always been an alchemist of all kinds of dense emotional energy's, particularly sexual energies as sexual shame was a big part of my religious upbringing. That's what I was really training for and is the main truth I share now.

9. Its just been a wild ride because I think in some ways I am still mourning the world I once knew while only really wanting to move ever more into a less digitally dense world, yet my skills are digital so I feel like I could barely even make it out in the woods with no tech.

10. When I first got here I even almost felt embarrassed or ashamed over my interest in things like games, feeling like that part of me didn't belong in the spiritual world, let alone having to talk so positively about sexuality and things like self pleasure.

11. It seems at times I came here to spiritualize entertainment and sexuality, two thing that the awake world often just throws out or only focuses on the negative aspects, becoming afraid of it all.

12. So what does one do when they find themselves in a no mans land? Well all I really know to do is to create my own new earth I guess. After all that's really what we all are here to do is to create our own part. Though so few seem to actually create anything.

13. Perhaps creativity is the secret alchemical ingredient that takes the dense matrix world and can spiritualize it into something greater. Besides the matrix only ever rips off and steals from genuine artist half the time. Happens with games all the time.

14. The first game will be an amazing piece of interactive art and than the corporate suits push the developers to make each sequel bigger and bigger for wider appeal so they hopefully sell more, eventually sucking the creative spirit right out of it. Same with movies.

15. And you know sometimes I don't even think something is dark occult, sometimes it is just plain old greed. If anything most of the occult I've seen in games anyway have more of a light occult influence but may eventually get bought out by dark occult corporate forces.

16. This is all just a stream of consciousness here, all this full moon energy has me in a reflective mood and these thoughts have weighed on me for some time so I thought screw it, I'll just do a little thread rant on it for what its worth.

17. In truth though all this triggers one of my biggest fears. My fear of never really having a place to call home. I know home is where the heart is and this place with all my soul fam has been the realist home I have ever known but as a general idea it still bothers me.

18. I see parts of the spiritual world making the same mistakes as the other worlds I have been a part of. This kind of isolation of the world outside is bad, scary and so on. And yet there really is no outside world anymore.

19. If we are going to do anything with all this spirituality we have to really start getting creative and grounded with it and start rebuilding the world, give it its passion back. Find your truth and really put it out there! I say that for myself as well.

20. I've done more with my own words and art in one year than I thought I would ever do, and I know I can always do even more but I am continuously improving and that's what matters.

21. Well this was the sloppiest thread I've ever done and maybe it's a bit somber but I feel there's some good perspective in here and its just therapeutic to let these thoughts out in a hopefully constructive way. These thoughts just needed to fall away before the Fall.🧠🌬️🍂😌