Thread by @Kootenaygirl69

The relationship with God people have in evangelical systems can be equated to a term often used in therapy: Trauma Bonding.

Wikipedia's simple definition for trauma bonding is "strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence."  Now when we think of this cycle of violence hell comes to mind.

What more violent thing is there than the threat of being abandoned to torment forever?

When a belief like hell is present there is no way to separate the future fear of this possibility from current behaviour.

The "Jesus payed it all" narrative touches on this but then the church starts emphasizing Paul over Jesus and once again you're left with fear of punishment.  This is not Love.  Its abuse and manipulation.

When folks first come to church (not all chs) they often experience "love bombing." They are told come as you are but in reality over time they are actually taught not to remain in "their wretched condition." This creates feelings of indebtedness to "the god that saved them."

Then they develop the need to defend god, or their narrow view of god, and often cover up their negative emotions so others wont think badly of their god.

This is classic signs of trauma bonding. 100%.  The LGBTQ community has experienced this intensely over the last few decades.  They are told come as you are but denied full inclusion till they change.

I often hear people loathed to take credit for choices they made and just give god all the credit.  This also steals from the individual in that it is stealing positive reinforcement from self and giving it to another.  It is a gross form of spiritual bypassing.

It seems like for the evangelical way of life shame and comfort are inseparable bedfellows.

There's a constant focus of what's wrong with you instead of what's right. You needing to change that keeps the individual bonded to a god who they are taught will abandon them to hell if they don't make choices that god wants them to make. It's one big system of trauma bonding.

Now, let's add on the new #PurityCulture 2.0 that people like #RachelWelcher and her husband are peddling.

Their constant hammering on "God's created intention" sounds very similar to "God's created order" where an idea is used to oppress entire people groups.

If you don't line up with their interpretation or idea of God's "design" then you are excluded and seen as unholy, unworthy, and still corrupt. They literally are setting themselves up as the masters to be bonded to.

Using words like "faith, holy, set apart for God, God's design" are all code words for "I have the right ideas. Listen to me." "Come buy my book, pay me money, to tell you why others in the world are so aweful."

It's disgusting.

And they are traumatizing another generation.