I still remember where I was when I heard the news on the radio. The year was 2006 and I was a greasy teenager studying for my A-level exams the following year.
My favourite subject was Geography, and despite the British syllabus we were using, Mr. Adeleke liked to localise the knowledge and make the class more interesting and interactive that way.
Population dispersion and distribution were among my favourite topics because I was so good at them.
The announcement on the radio that day however, made me briefly wonder whether I knew anything at all.
Whereas my Cambridge A-level Geography education was showing me how to calculate Nigeria’s subnational population distribution using economic data, geological data and basic forecasting, the voice on the radio was calling me a fool.
According to the newsreader, Kano State had a population of 9.4 million people, and was Nigeria’s most populous state.
Lagos was apparently in second place with 9.1 million inhabitants. In a few short moments, I learned more about Nigeria than all the 1980s-1990s newspapers and..
dad’s anecdotes had ever shown me. I learned that in Nigeria, “population” is not a simple geographical calculation carried out by careful enumeration & complex calculations. It was actually equivalent to the manifesto of a political party, & often worth exactly the same as that.
Which is to say, nothing at all. That was the day I first understood that Northern Nigeria’s population is one giant, egregious and ongoing lie.
“But Polygamy!’: The demographic myth
During a call-in session on the radio that day, not a few callers expressed their shock and disgust at this most absurd of census outcomes.
The 2006 census had effectively codified the narrative of Nigeria being a northern majority country into official data. People were upset. But then came a wave of radio callers, newspaper column writers and TV appearance-havers over the next few days who all had one particular...
line to repeat – “Yes you don’t think the northerners are that many, but do you know how many wives every man in the north has? Do you know that one man can have 30 children?”
Several variations of this narrative were aggressively drip-fed to Nigerians over the next few weeks until tempers were calmed and the people moved on to the next topic. Maybe it was my A-level Geography, but this explanation never quite cut it for me.
It sounded too convenient; too contrived; too rehearsed. But of course, without the willingness or ability to go physically to every Tundun-Wada and Sabon Gari to find things out for myself, I too had to swallow the “Northern industrial polygamy” excuse.
It was not as though anyone had a better explanation after all. Until recently.
It turns out that as far back as 1980, a Cambridge University study titled “Polygyny and the rate of population growth” had already established something that many Nigerians reading this will probably
be shocked to read. I quote:
“No significant variation in fertility between polygynous and monogamous women was found but substantial gaps in standards of living, child mortality, and educational attainment were noted for polygynous households.
The findings imply that during the transition from polygyny to monogamy family size will tend to diminish, although initially fertility may not decline concurrently with changing socio-economic status.”
The implication of this is that there is in fact, no evidence that polygamous marriage results in increased childbirth. In other words, the entire “Alhaji Musa married 4 wives and has 19 children” excuse, that was used to justify the patent falsehood of Kano having more...
inhabitants than Lagos, has been kneecapped since 1980. Furthermore, a statistical evaluation of population demographics across Niger and Chad – which very closely mirror Northern Nigeria – show nothing similar to Northern Nigeria.
Niger for example, is about 1.3x the size of Nigeria. Despite its huge land size, its total population is just about 22 million people. Ditto Chad which is about 1.2x Nigeria’s size, but sustains only 15 million people.
Supposedly, once you crossed the border into Northern Nigeria, you would find a dramatic population explosion based on nothing at all except Alhaji Musa’s prolific childbearing.
Since the science disagrees with the existence of this polygamy-fuelled population utopia, what is actually going on here?
The economic and political argument
Have you ever danced to a pop song from Kano? Enjoyed a new product conceptualised and manufactured in Bauchi? Perhaps listened to a podcast or watched a YouTube channel from Gombe? The answer to all these questions is obvious.
In the cultural and economic retail space, Northern Nigeria might as well be Atlantis. It is a ghost – completely nonexistent. Now here is the problem with this picture. Supposedly, Kano hosts more human beings than Lagos according to the 2006 nationwide census.
If we can accept that, then we can also accept that Kano has similar economic potential to Lagos.
So then, where is the economic or cultural presence of Kano or anywhere in Northern Nigeria outside of its immediate neighbourhood? On any given Saturday, young punters in Kano...
dodge the Hisbah police and find their way to secret hangouts where they groove to the sounds of Zlatan and Naira Marley, swig smuggled alcohol and watch TV shows like Big Brother Naija.
It is impossible to dodge the south’s economic and cultural impact on the north, despite it being allegedly smaller. So where is the corresponding influence from a purportedly bigger north to south?
Except you tenuously count Eedris Abdulkareem and Aliko Dangote as products of Kano, you would really struggle to find anything like a corresponding cultural or economic influence going back over 3 decades. Every major economic uptick Nigeria has recorded in its post-independence
history has come out of the South. The GSM revolution that changed the face of Nigeria’s economy forever was a southern affair – even now, the “larger” northern population which should be attracted to low prices and thus driving mobile and internet adoption, is M.I.A.
Where are all the people? Where are the consumers? Where are the artists? Where are the entrepreneurs? Where are the creatives? Where are the professionals?
Where is this huge “Kardashian” population that apparently bursts into existence once every 4 years, conveniently during Nigeria’s elections? I have never actually seen them before.
Have you?
Alhaji Baba Ahmed, a Mauritanian cow seller, plied his trade from his country to the Gold Coast (now Ghana) and to Dahomey (now Benin Republic). Business was very good but at a point, his customers in Dahomey, with impunity, refused to pay for his cows.
Is it not the law that every seller must collect the proceeds of his sale? This was not the case with the cow seller who was not a son-of-the-soil in Dahomey. The options before him were very limited.
My people say if the landlord offends the tenant, it is the tenant who must go; again, if it is the tenant who has wronged the landlord, it is still the tenant who must go. This trader from Mauritania had to move out of Dahomey, leaving his money behind.
Chief Obaro, let me reply because your inquiry sounds genuine, but make no apologies for Pres Buhari, who, I can say authoritatively and in retrospect with benefit of what I now know of him, is unfit to lead a multiethnic, multinational, and multi-religious country like Nigeria.
I stand before God before whom I shall one day stand and give account of my earthly deeds that what I'm going to tell you now are borne of verifiable facts and, largely, products of my personal observations over time. I share this without bitterness or malice.
President Buhari is an ethnic bigot of the worst kind but he went about it deceptively while seeking power.
I've said this several times. It was a first hint that warned me of the bigot in the man. It's worth recalling.
This is a true life story. There was once a Yoruba traditional ruler who talked down on his subjects. His tongue was so acerbic that even his council of chiefs avoided him.
His hubris was his penchant to extend his bag of insults even to the parents and family members of whoever falls prey to his volcanic eruptions. But one day, his cup was full. A young man was charged to the king’s court over a minor matter.
The young man took his time to explain his points but the king was already in his usual element.
He cut the boy short in the middle of his narration and the boy simply told him that he had not finished stating his own side of the matter that brought him to the palace.
These glorious insults are from an era " before" the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A short thread.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
Drinking whiskey kills CORONA Virus. German virologist's 'genius' idea
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I honestly see nothing wrong with GEJ joining APC to actualize his ambitions. PDP hasn't shown seriousness as a party ready to take power, with constant bickerings and dissensions within her fold. Moreover, they've surreptitiously joined the office of the president to the north.
With the alternatives flying around I think he's the best of the realistic candidates for the job. He's had practical experience on same, and with his demeanor as a unifier, the country will benefit from him, especially after 8 fractious years of Buhari in power.
In practical terms, the difference between APC and PDP lies squarely on the character, personality, ideology and policies of Muhammadu Buhari and nothing else. There's been an admixture of politicians in both folds, so this is the only realistic assumption in that regard.