Thread by @QuinnyPig

And now because @gabsmashh made a wish on the monkey's paw that is The Cloud:

A meme dump thread of @awscloud memes.

Let's begin.

"Bad at names," "the AWS Partner Network," and a tagline I shockingly did not have to alter led to this:

Less relevant now, but still annoying when iterating on Lambda @ Edge.

You, when I start making up random phrases that start with "Cloud."

You know this is coming in only a couple of months.

"Expertise in one area does not conflate to expertise in another" says the man who just disqualified himself from participating in VC Twitter.

Probably still too soon for this one.

Enjoy the bill at the end of the month for this monstrosity.

A live shot of @aselipsky preparing for re:Invent:

I still laugh at this one.

An update is needed here.

Multi-cloud for me but not for thee.

Nobody is one-dimensional. Even me.

You're too smart to get caught by the trap.

I liked this one more than most of you seemed to.

AWS billing day approaches yet again.

Always remember that AWS is a True Friend to Open Source.

Why sponsor reInvent when you can sponsor requinnvent.com instead?

"Shitposts can't be advertisements" my ass.

Here, have another.

You'll like this one, Jayden.

Don't worry, AWS PR; I haven't forgotten about you.

You may be picking up on a subtle theme here.

This is why people are loving Cloudflare's new thing.

Some takes are spicier than others.

Three cloud providers walk into a bar...

Sometimes my job can be very, very sad.

Oh yes did I ever get some DMs about this one from the other optimists.

This one is probably not suitable for children.

The treachery of AWS's competing with anything that holds still long enough:

Amazon Spokesperson has no idea what you're talking about.

Take some responsibility. --your account manager

Just kidding, they're already rotated out.

We've all been there, friendos.

They're both the wrong answer.

An AWS gameshow was briefly floated and then cancelled due to psychological warfare being a bridge too far.

When something hits hard in your AWS account.

A beautiful AWS metaphor.

I don't get it either, Harry. Wish I did.

An AWS Partner is an AWS Partner to me.

When a good service shares a name with a crap service.

We'd have better reference architectures if the AWS SAs got screamed at about the bill a bit more.

Oh good, another AWS blog post about how to analyze my bill.

Someone probably feels personally attacked by this one. Good. They should.

Sometimes all you have to do to make AWS decision-makers look like assholes is juxtapose two quotes together.

I agree, Majesty.

GET BACK ON THE SHIP!

I will return after dinner to continue. I am nowhere near done.

As prophesied, I now continue.

The true secret of @awssupport:

This still makes more sense than their "Whole Enchilada" campaign.

The shitpost meme that really took off:

At least @awscloud handled themselves like grown-ups during the JEDI protest.

I've uh... seen your IAM policies.

The database hierarchy. Based on a true story.

I'm pretty sure @_msw_ blocked me for this one.

That time @theregister burned AWS harder than I ever could.

AWS marketing is a hard job, but not always for the reasons you'd think.

How you know you're a Cloud Economist

When you screw up the @awscloud bill royally, you do have options.

Half of @awscloud Marketing didn't speak to me for a month after this one.

I'd say I'm friends with a lot of CDK evangelists, but hand to heart I tell you that those people have driven away all of their friends.

I spent six months without TSA-PRE, but people still take me seriously afterwards. What's your excuse?

"Things @aselipsky wished he knew before accepting the CEO role."

Me claiming to run AWS Marketing.

At least my nonsense compression algorithm aphorisms are adorable.

You might ignore a polite note from me about your open bucket; let's see you ignore a $4 million monthly bill surprise.

I remain my own favorite punchline most days.

Man, I miss Star Trek technobabble. Can't wait for the next Quantum Computing blog post.

"Alexa, what's the exact opposite of how AWS actually sounds with their Day One talk?"

As much as I love shitposting, I've got nothing on the @awscloud Solutions team.

Good work detonating customer trust with third party nonsense in the omnisearch bar. I'm sure that won't come back to haunt you.

The next ML service from @awscloud, launching re:Invent 2021.

I only hope that the day the starships appear in the skies above Seattle that they end it quickly.

Why on earth would I revive a meme that's 15 years old?!

Speaking of things that are slow...

Don't kink shame, different people like to be screwed differently.

The crossover we all want.

It's hard to out-stupid AWS sometimes, but I do try.

Remember that time they let an AWS VP testify in a non-compete lawsuit without adult supervision and gave me my entire re:Invent 2020 tagline?

I still do this.

True story, @awscloud has two dueling slogans.

Sometimes they write themselves.

You learn fascinating things in quarterly reports.

I was entirely too kind.

...and that takes us back to the start of 2020. Thanks for joining me. More to come starting tomorrow.

lastweekinaws.com if you want to subscribe to nonsense like this weekly.

Oh, and since there seems to be some confusion: I made virtually all of these myself. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to out-shitpost me, @awscloud Product Namer.