If this speech lasts five minutes it'll be too long.
I seem to be watching a Tory prime minister make a speech about how catastrophically the country has performed after 11 years of Tory rule.
Johnson mistakes alliteration for wit.
Pub bore greatest hits. 'Now in North London they have children's races with no winners' etc. Be a miracle if we get through this without him talking about people trying to ban Christmas.
Goes without saying that the people in the hall are lapping it up. But it's useful to contrast this with the coverage in today's press, even in supportive or middle-of-the-road papers. They're demanding a plan for what's happening. And there isn't much sign of it in this speech.
Machine gun fire of gibbering vacuity. The intellectual equivalent of being waterboarded with out-of-date jelly.
People were wondering last night if the speech would have any policy. It doesn't even have a structure.
Fuck me. "Very few countries could have pulled of the Kabul airlift." Incredible to hear hi frame a moment of acute national humiliation as triumph.
"There's no-one as good at beating a hasty retreat as us, lads."
We're on how great Churchill was, of course.
Apparently it's a problem when countries try to "edit" their history. He's going to be shocked when he finds out what the study of history involves.
It's over. Apparently that lasted 45 minutes. Felt like 12 hours.
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Priti Patel's 'protest banning orders' are a direct threat to freedom of speech and assembly inews.co.uk/opinion/column…
They’re basically a copy-and-paste job from football banning orders, which are used to tackle violent hooligans, or criminal behaviour orders, which are used to tackle anti-social behaviour. But there is a crucial distinction.
Those orders prevented people from going to football matches or engaging in misconduct. These orders prevent people from exercising their democratic rights.
Grim to hear her respond to Sarah Everard case by citing provisions in the policing bill. If they really believed in those provisions, they wouldn't have stuffed them in a bill which also worked to silence those who demonstrate to protect women from violence.
Johnson's line that we're transitioning to high wage economy is different to most of his post-truth gibberish, because it'll be verifiable in people's real lives by the next election.
Usually his post-truth gibberish is based on the future, like the Brexit campaign, or cultural values, which aren't falsifiable. But in this case, people will come to their own conclusions about their quality of life.
That's a problem for him, because in truth there is no strategy. The higher wages schtick is a PR bandage job on a crisis they themselves inflicted. If you create a labour shortage amid ongoing inflation and reduced trade, people will in general be poorer.
It's still the case that Starmer should be much, much better at day to day attack, especially on the fuel crisis.
But today he dragged Labour into a position that could potentially win an election. He got them cheering for a vision which is palatable to the voters they need to attract without betraying their values. And that's a triumph, whichever way you look at it.
There's a very short bit on the fuel crisis. Vague, lacking in detail, passion, or solutions. I hope that wasn't all he has to say about it, but I suspect it was.
Much better and tougher now. "To the voters who thought we were unpatriotic or irresponsible or that we looked down on them, I say these simple but powerful words. We will never under my leadership go into an election with a manifesto that is not a serious plan for government."
Right, don't shit yourself, but I've got some good news about the Labour party. Nick Thomas-Symonds just did a very good speech on crime, which contained the kind of consensual politics the party needs to succeed inews.co.uk/opinion/labour…
I mean you look at the main news agenda and the party is an absolute state - mute on a national crisis, beset by internal warfare, hit by front bench resignations, losing unions, the lot.
But when you take a peek at the speeches from front benchers - particularly Thomas-Symonds and Rachel Reeves - you can see the outline of an smart, effective and confident policy programme for the next election.