The earliest reference to what was probably an internal condom comes from a legend about King Minos related by Antonius Liberalis in about 150CE. Settle down, kids, here's a story about the worst STI you can imagine, two unhappy marriages (and some bonus cross-dressing)
You might have heard of King Minos, the legendary king of Crete, who pops up in lots of stories. According to this story, he had a terrible affliction: his semen contained serpents and scorpions.
This semen containing a variety of spooky and poisonous fauna was, understandably, distinctly unpleasant for any women he had sex with. So unpleasant that his mistress died from having sex with him.
Minos's wife, Pasiphaë, was fairly unhappy with the situation, and made the very smart decision not to have sex with the man who was jizzing scorpions.
(also, for unrelated reasons, she cheated on him with a bull and gave birth to the Minotaur. Continuity is unclear as to whether or not this happened while her hubby was nutting snakes)
Meanwhile, also in Crete is a princess called Prokris, who has fled there because she was caught by her husband in bed with another man. She kind of inserts herself into the situation, because she feels sorry for Minos and Pasiphaë, because they can't produce heirs.
And here's where the internal condom comes in. Minos and Pasiphaë can't fuck, on account of the fact his cum contains serpents and scorpions. So... what if she was protected from all the serpents and scorpions?
Pasiphaë put a goat bladder into her vagina, to protect herself from the curse. And it worked - it kept her safe!
As far as condoms go, it wasn't very good for the purposes we usually use condoms for, because Pasiphaë bore eight children using this method of protection.
But for Minos and Pasiphaë's purposes, they wanted heirs, and for Pasiphaë to not die from the scorpions in his semen.
But for Minos and Pasiphaë's purposes, they wanted heirs, and for Pasiphaë to not die from the scorpions in his semen.
Meanwhile, Prokris made up with her husband. There's two ends to her story. One is that Artemis gave her a magic dog and a magic javelin which she then gave to her husband.
The other is that Prokris disguised herself as a boy, and seduced her husband in a kind of classical catfish. That made hubby guilty of cheating, too, and they made up.
Now, obviously, none of this story is true, the characters didn't exist, and we are pleased to inform you that you absolutely cannot contract any STIs or curses that will make you jizz any reptiles or arachnids. But there's something interesting in there nonetheless.
The story suggests two things:
1. That internal barrier methods of contraception were known about to some extent, as well as sheaths over the penis.
2. That the function of barriers in preventing STIs as well as pregnancy was known about.
1. That internal barrier methods of contraception were known about to some extent, as well as sheaths over the penis.
2. That the function of barriers in preventing STIs as well as pregnancy was known about.
And once again, we need to reassure you that you cannot ejaculate scorpions.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
