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Oliver Willis Profile picture
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10 Oct, 4 tweets, 2 min read
boxing giving wwe a run
i think wwe style entrances for congress would be amazing. this would be me walking to the mic for my five-minute floor speech:
"Madam Speaker, I introduce HR 2082 on behalf of the millions... AND MILLIONS of Rep. Willis' fans, both at home in his district in Florida and all across this United States. We're going to lay the smack down on unregulated industries and stick a boot in the ass of monopolies."
"If you want to introduce legislation regulating industry, helping the little guy and returning America to the glory it once had, co-sponsor this legislation and give me a HELL YEAH!"

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More from @owillis

Oliver Willis Profile picture
10 Oct
Democrats don't need to win back GOP voters any more so than Republicans try to win back Democratic voters. It's an absolute waste of time and resources when there are millions of Democratic votes already there begging for just a slight push to the polls
You could have launched three liberal media outlets with all the money that was wasted on an unwinnable Kentucky Senate race. That would have set the table for more wins and a really competitive Kentucky race at some future point (like Georgia and Arizona)
The Reagan voters are never coming back and a lot of them are dead. Engage your existing voters not just a month out of election day, but every day, win over voters who have a stake in progressive results, repeat.
Read 6 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
10 Oct
This week on Meet The Press, Joseph Goebbels joins us to give us his unique insight into what really went down in the bunker and what all those grumblings about a Fifth Reich are all about. His new book, "I'll Take Das Questions Now Mein Fuhrer" is a bestseller. #mtp
Chuck Todd: "Mr Goebbels, thanks for the insight into Hitler's rants about laundry and cats, we would get into the death camps, but we're out of time. Everybody should check your book out. This has been Meet The Press." #mtp
Chuck Todd: "We've heard a lot about Hitler's military aggression, Nazi atrocities, but what about the other side? FDR is known to give extremely long speeches and aides say Churchill constantly smells of cigars. There's two sides to this important story." #mtp
Read 5 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
10 Oct
feel like a lot of people doing mainstream journalism should have stayed in school and gotten their MFA in creative writing instead of giving us thousands of words on insular nyc grad school topics
i just skimmed a 4,600 word piece about a book who appealed to such a narrow slice of the world it has 1/5 the amazon reviews of my book of extremely narrowly targeted online satire, lol.
its not just out of touch with mythical middle america, imo this kind of thing is out of touch with *coastal* america.

its no wonder that right wing media like fox and the ny post dominates the downmarket so much.
Read 9 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
8 Oct
"I understand," President Biden said, nodding his head as he spoke on the phone. "Yes. Yes. This is what we planned all these years Barack. Finally, we have the power."

Biden hung up the phone and turned to his aide.

"Sexual anarchy is go."

The aide nodded and sent the signal.
Biden signed the final letter of his name to the document, the pen flowing with the blood of a recent sacrifice.

"It's done folks," he announced to the room. "We're doing sexual anarchy."

The Infinite Trumpets sounded and the rhythmic goat began his bleat.
Barack Obama looked down at the pulsing Obamaphone and broke out into a grin thick with blackery.

"It's done, love. It's here."

Michelle Obama grabbed a wine glass and poured it to the brim with White Man tears.

"To sexual anarchy."
Read 6 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
8 Oct
A Proclamation on Indigenous Peoples’ Day, 2021 whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/… via @whitehouse
this is the first time an american president has done this, fyi
"Today, we recognize Indigenous peoples’ resilience and strength as well as the immeasurable positive impact that they have made on every aspect of American society. "
Read 4 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
8 Oct
just every day watching the right fill up the information vacuum while the left isn't even trying. it would be one thing if they were trying and facing obstacles. but they don't even try.
like even the dumbest house republicans are out there understanding that they need to make a point about the days news events. how you can sit there and let greene and boebert out-strategize you?
if a bear fell from the top of the empire state building, republicans would understand its an opportunity to say "see the biden economy is so bad, bears want to end it all." and maybe you think this is beneath you but it really shouldn't be. its politics 101.
Read 8 tweets

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