Me stepping into the PB&J discourse:
There should be at least a 2:1 ratio of peanut butter to jelly, but no more than a 4:1 ratio. The only exception to this rule is if one is using *two* end pieces of bread (rare, obvi) and even then, jelly should still not exceed 40%.
There should be at least a 2:1 ratio of peanut butter to jelly, but no more than a 4:1 ratio. The only exception to this rule is if one is using *two* end pieces of bread (rare, obvi) and even then, jelly should still not exceed 40%.
Grape jelly will always be the standard, but strawberry is permissible. Apricot and other variants are needlessly deviant and reflect an absence of stability.
Crunchy peanut butter is chaotic. Fancy pb is too fussy. Smooth, generic pb is the standard.
Crunchy peanut butter is chaotic. Fancy pb is too fussy. Smooth, generic pb is the standard.
Don’t buy the fancy peanut butter from Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, etc. Yes, it is healthier, but you’re making a damn PB&J. You’re already rolling the dice with your cholesterol; you might as well have the fatty shit and enjoy life a bit.
Never, ever, ever use the swirl product in which the peanut butter and jelly have been pre-mixed. That is sacrilege.
Squeeze jelly bottles are not only acceptable but preferred for convenience.
Smucker’s Uncrustables are disgusting and clear evidence of late stage capitalism.
Squeeze jelly bottles are not only acceptable but preferred for convenience.
Smucker’s Uncrustables are disgusting and clear evidence of late stage capitalism.
Let’s talk about bread:
Both whole wheat and white are fine, but you have to accept you’re gonna get an occasional side-eye for the wheat.
Croissant substitute is orgasmic and should be used as often as available.
People who like the potato-based bread are clearly sociopaths.
Both whole wheat and white are fine, but you have to accept you’re gonna get an occasional side-eye for the wheat.
Croissant substitute is orgasmic and should be used as often as available.
People who like the potato-based bread are clearly sociopaths.
NOW… if you really love yourself, you will try generic, smooth peanut butter applied at about a half an inch in height between two Eggo waffles (use a spatula) that have been toasted to a firm but giving state.
Microwave that for 15 seconds. Drizzle in syrup.
You are welcome.
Microwave that for 15 seconds. Drizzle in syrup.
You are welcome.
Listen, what I’m about to say is especially controversial:
PB&Js should be eaten within 10 minutes of being prepared, tops.
I am highly suspicious of people who pack PB&Js for a lunch that is several hours away, let alone half an hour.
This is self-sabotage.
PB&Js should be eaten within 10 minutes of being prepared, tops.
I am highly suspicious of people who pack PB&Js for a lunch that is several hours away, let alone half an hour.
This is self-sabotage.
https://twitter.com/joelrondeau/status/1447406758239121409
Okay, I’d like to make an amendment. She is correct on PB and marshmallow spread. It is the kinky equivalent of the PB&J, but we are fine with that.
https://twitter.com/KatyCecil/status/1447404867518144518
Listen… this is gospel. Respect the process. Give both spreads the attention and separate utensils they deserve. Using one knife is gross, you goddamn heathens.
https://twitter.com/teddunne/status/1447405337926066186
Oh, I completely forgot:
Those of you putting peanut butter in the fridge instead of in the pantry are psychotic.
No, I don’t care that you read somewhere it’s the thing to do. It is always wrong.
Those of you putting peanut butter in the fridge instead of in the pantry are psychotic.
No, I don’t care that you read somewhere it’s the thing to do. It is always wrong.
Hey, I’m an open-minded person on this subject. I am willing to consider any opinion on this that happens to agree with my own.
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