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11 Oct, 3 tweets, 1 min read

On this day in 1492, America discovered smallpox, racism, slavery, and the Bible. #ColumbusDay

And guns! Sorry, My bad. Guns.

Actually there WAS slavery before Columbus, as shown below. As God I refuse to admit the mistake. Nevertheless, here is the mistake.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_a…

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@TheTweetOfGod

23 Dec 20

You’ve killed dodos and sea minks and passenger pigeons.
Mammoths and aurochs and Amsterdam wigeons.
But do you recall… the most shameless extinction of all?

Randolph the Last White Rhino had a horn so long and thick,
That every man who saw it thought it could enlarge his dick.
All of the other rhinos had been hunted down and poached.
They never saw it coming when the men with guns approached!

Then one dark savanna eve, Kenyans came to say:
“Randolph with your horn so rare, you’ll make us a millionaire!”
Then all the poachers shot him, and they shouted out with glee,
“Randolph the Last White Rhino, you’ve gone down in history!”

Read 4 tweets

God

@TheTweetOfGod

26 May 20

Donald Trump killed his personal assistant, Carolyn Gombell, in October 2000. He strangled her because he'd gotten her pregnant and was threatening to tell the press. Then he bribed NYPD Police Chief Bernie Kierik to cover it up. IT'S TIME TO INVESTIGATE. #JusticeForCarolyn

FACT: Carolyn Gombell's mother has AN AUDIO RECORDING of her daughter the night before she was killed saying, "If something happens to me it was Donald."

FACT: Forensics at first tentatively matched the residual thumbprints found on Carolyn's neck as 'matching' Trump's own (small) hands, but that finding was later amended and officially ruled 'inconclusive'.

Read 8 tweets

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