One reason I haven't sat down and spent a day just writing fiction since I started the ADHD meds is that I'm afraid of what happens if it turns out they've fixed basically everything else I've been struggling with... except for that.
I turned off replies on that tweet because the type of replies I could receive to it that would not result in me feeling worse is very narrow, and like 99% of you would immediately jump in with the worst ones, thinking they're the best.
And I'm working on coping better with unwanted interactions, but it's a work in progress.
People are like, "Oh, Twitter is the place where people will just take whatever you say and run wild with the worst possible interpretation of what you said." but if someone's a jerk they're a jerk and nine times out of ten I know what to do with that.
Like, a person who would reply with "Actually ADHD medicine doesn't give you writing talent so if you can't write well without it don't expect to do any better on it. Sounds like you probably don't have ADHD."... you just block that guy and move on.
If I'm having a particularly bad day I might spiral *briefly* about how I can make sure he knows I'm not blocking him "for speaking the truth" or whatever but ultimately it's still just block and move on.

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More from @AlexandraErin

14 Oct
PSA: Instead of putting a lot of the same emojis in a tweet, which is hell on people using a screen reader as it reads the whole name of the emoji out every single time, you could write "🚩times a million" and then everybody would get the intended message.
Here's an auditory illustration of what I mean.

I have to suspect -- given how many people disregard it -- that some people are thinking "these memes make Twitter inaccessible to blind and visually impaired people" means "oh how sad they can't see them", but that is not the issue at all.
Read 4 tweets
13 Oct
So I've mentioned that I've been doing a lot of AFK stuff (cleaning, sorting, exercising) since I started my meds, which has given me a lot of time to reflect on my tabletop game design project, kind of galvanized by the fact that I read the Dishonored RPG last Friday.
Thread about that, focusing mainly on the element of it I found so much inspiration in, here:

The approach Mophidius took in Dishonored helped me refine something I was trying to do in my game, with regards to allowing players to define how well their character performs in various areas *without* referring to innate mental or physical attributes.
Read 53 tweets
12 Oct
Yesterday I located a bunch of short story drafts that I managed to "misfile" in Dropbox years ago by not realizing I'd accidentally changed the folder that Scrivener was working from.
I was working out of the wrong folder, unknowingly, for a couple of years because it didn't matter as Scrivener was consistently using the "wrong" one and I mostly relied on the "Recent Projects" menu to open them.
But then I got a new desktop computer in 2020 and installed Scrivener and went to my Scrivener projects folder and it was empty.
Read 8 tweets
12 Oct
So four days of being on ADHD meds during the day and coming off them in the evening and I have thoughts about the connection between me not being able to function when something disrupts my routine and the way I can't function socially when people interact in unexpected ways.
The replies are locked because I'm past the half-life of today's dose and my brain is doing the thing where it braces in anticipation of stuff that may or may not come, without actually preparing for it.
Because I said "unexpected ways" in the first tweet but that's the thing, they're not actually unexpected. I basically never stop anticipating them, but before the meds I had no ability to actually *prepare* for them, just cringe in pained anticipation of what felt inevitable.
Read 16 tweets
11 Oct
So as I move into my first work week on ADHD meds, I'm switching from "take pill as soon as I can each day" to "take pill at a set time each day"... which apart from the other general reasons that's good, it feels like the right move, given my addictive personality.
I'm also titrating (tee hee, tit rating) my dosage up 5 MG to see what that does in terms of how much I'm still feeling it in the mid-afternoon.
I want to try to avoid a booster later in the day because of aforementioned addictive personality - taking it once a day by the clock and firmly rejecting the idea of taking another one to keep the train going feels safer.
Read 10 tweets
10 Oct
So, this'll be a thread.

In my teen years I used caffeine heavily during the day to cope with fatigue while trying to be awake on a school schedule, sometimes even spending my lunch money in the soda vending machine. This exacerbated my insomnia, which meant more caffeine.
I had so much caffeine addiction in high school that if I didn't drink it at night, the withdrawal would keep me awake, but the caffeine in my system interfered with my REM cycle, leading to frequent bouts of sleep paralysis.
As I've mentioned on here before, I knew that sleep paralysis existed and thought that I knew what it was, but the brief clinical description in my health textbooks had not prepared me for the reality of it, which made me feel like either I was crazy or afflicted by actual demons
Read 14 tweets

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