I usually avoid the subject because it's triggering and enraging but I just took a BPD quiz to compare the symptoms with #ActuallyAutistic/ND experiences and it's horrifyingly similar. No wonder there are so many neurodivergents misdiagnosed with this offensive label 😔
BPD "intense emotions".
Actually: Hyperempathy and the pain of daily allistic microaggressions. Very reasonable.
BPD "unreasonable anger".
Actually: Meltdowns from sensory or information overload, pain of being gaslit, insulted or misunderstood constantly. Very reasonable.
BPD "chronic boredom and emptiness".
Actually: ADHD. A constant need for stimulation and feeling like there's nothing new anymore, because once you've lived long enough, it's true!
BPD "lack of attachment".
Actually: An alternative attachment style or asociality.
BPD "fluctuating self image".
Actually: Constantly trying to perform allistic selfhood and failing. You're trying to see yourself as allistic but it's not working, because you're not. Spiky profile means unmet NT "potentials". It's just your real disabled self bleeding through.
Basically, every single aspect of my Autistic existence is a disease caused by interpersonal trauma, according to the psychiatric system.
Refrigerator mother theory by the back door.
The quiz told me I might have BPD. Lol.
I'd like to put allistic psychiatry through my own little Autmisia test, then when 100% of them fail it, I'll overmedicate them for suffering from "neuronormative personality disorder".
🤪 NeuPD is an EPIDEMIC.
The older I get the more furious I feel towards psychiatry. The field was built on bigotry & pathology. It's so dangerous for neurodivergents.
But if I expressed this anger to a therapist, they'd probably pathologize that.
Anger is a personality disorder 🙄
A while ago I saw a lovely, sweary Autistic account on here and it was quite inspirational, so I think I'll reclaim my own "excessive" anger too.
🖕 My anger is not a personality disorder.
🖕 My feelings are not unreasonable.
🖕 My body/face isn't lying.
🖕 I am Autistic.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
Constantly thinking about how capitalist society structurally excludes and harms me as a neurominority, and how Westerners spent 500 years systematically eradicating societies that could have taught us how to *not* structurally exclude neurominorities.
💔 Heartbreak.
It's annoying to see Conservative and centrist types who believe that this is just how things always have been and the only way to live. That only *wage* labour is valuable. The individualist bootstrapper mentality is a symptom of urbanisation and white supremacy.
I know my family history. They were poor Yorkshire sheep farmers and cottage weavers who moved to the city factories during the industrial revolution, then spent 200 years rolling around like broken cotton reels at the bottom of society with our "undiagnosed" neurodivergences.
I feel like even the cognitive empathy deficit of Autism is wrong for me. I have plenty of cognitive empathy, in fact I think I consider multiple perspectives more than allistics do. I can hypothesize other people's suffering just fine, it's the empathic part that I feel less.
But when I do feel the empathic part, I feel it intensely because it's a situation that would deeply hurt me too if it was me. But there are certain types of suffering that I just don't feel because it's not driven by the same value system as allistics.
For example, say I love blue sweets but hate red sweets.
Someone loses their red sweets. I don't feel emotive empathy because losing red sweets would not upset me. But seeing someone lose their blue sweets *would* set off my empathy because I care about blue sweets too.