A few thoughts on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day—one, is I am adamant on using "pregnancy loss" as opposed to "miscarriage." "Miscarriage" imbues blame, like the birthing parent did something wrong. But maybe more subtlety, "loss" makes grief more inclusive.
People who do not get recognized nearly enough, imho, in pregnancy and infant loss are non-birthing partners. I've heard from a lot of them over the past two years. Their bodies don't do the thing, so they feel less connected to and entitled to grief, which is simply not true.
The culture of shame and silence around pregnancy and infant loss—created and perpetuated by people who have politicized pregnancy itself—makes this particular grief challenging for everyone, but non-birthing partners especially who can feel helpless through the process.
So I want to recognize everyone today who has grieved this particular loss of hope and dreams for a life they imagined for themselves, and say (without being toxically positive) that it's possible to get to a different place of peace, joy and empathy in the future.
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