Thread by @JaneFriedman

Currently attending a query critique panel with agents at @MarylandWriters annual conference. Two out of the three agents do not like rhetorical questions in queries. They prefer direct, strong story statements. #braintobookshelf21

Re: comp titles, agents agree it's OK to use TV/movies to show what your book is like and who it is for.

Re: comps, you may need to be specific about why you're choosing a comp. Similarity of the protagonist? Voice or writing style? Humor? Plot line? Etc.

Avoid writing a query that has subsections, where you break out the one-line pitch, a list of the characters, the plot line, and so on. Instead, it should read as a cohesive whole.

For your book title in the query, put it in ALL CAPS. No need for bold or quotation marks or italics.

Include characters in the query we can connect with. What motivates them to act or drives them? What's at stake for them? (Also, agents are being tough on queries that introduce characters who are positioned as story critical but not even named.)

An agent directly said a query that's 450 words is too long. For him an ideal length is around 350 words. Also, formatting wise: no paragraph indents, use block style (which is better looking when sent via email).

Watch for too many competing proper nouns (character names, place names, etc) in a query; agents aren't familiar with your story world yet and it can be overwhelming to keep track of them all. Of course, name the important characters, but be judicious about who/what deserves it.

So far during the panel, no query has come in too short or too light on information. Most are heavy on the detail and need to be pared back.

On a line level, agents appreciate it when queries have varied sentence structure; they warn against sentences that are very, very long (and hard to follow) in a query.

Queries should avoid describing a series of disconnected events and characters, e.g., "This happened, and then this, then this." Instead, there should be action-to-consequence, with flow to the story. Imagine connecting each bit of story info with "But/Therefore."