According to neuroscience, rejection is PAIN.
A thread 🧵 on how to deal with rejections in life.
Share it with someone who is having a hard time with rejections!👇
A thread 🧵 on how to deal with rejections in life.
Share it with someone who is having a hard time with rejections!👇
1/ Our aversion to “rejection” traces back to millions of years of evolution.
Our ancestors used to protect their survival by being in close groups, so that dangers can be avoided easily.
Being rejected by group members posed a potential threat to their survival……
Our ancestors used to protect their survival by being in close groups, so that dangers can be avoided easily.
Being rejected by group members posed a potential threat to their survival……
2/ & hence it was perceived as being painful.
This feeling of pain was healthy because the rejected members tried to reduce this pain by finding ways to get included in the group, thereby securing their survival once more.
Fast forward to the modern era……..
This feeling of pain was healthy because the rejected members tried to reduce this pain by finding ways to get included in the group, thereby securing their survival once more.
Fast forward to the modern era……..
3/ Unlike our ancestors (who only had fewer groups to be a part of), we are connected more and more groups (physically as well as digitally)
The higher the number of groups that we are a part of, the more the scope of being rejected.
For instance……..
The higher the number of groups that we are a part of, the more the scope of being rejected.
For instance……..
4/ Getting rejected by a grad school program means that we are not being able to be a part of a (higher education) group that we thought would contribute to our (intellectual/professional) “safety”.
This induces pretty much the same kind of pain as our ancestors felt….
This induces pretty much the same kind of pain as our ancestors felt….
5/ when their survival instinct was frustrated.
We fear rejection as soon as we are born.
We do not wish to be rejected by our:
• caregivers or food providers
• friends
• teachers
• other family members
Being rejected by any of them induces pain….
We fear rejection as soon as we are born.
We do not wish to be rejected by our:
• caregivers or food providers
• friends
• teachers
• other family members
Being rejected by any of them induces pain….
6/ So you see, there is NOTHING wrong in feeling the pain of rejection.
The pain of rejection is a survival mechanism that motivates us to reinvent ways through which we can be a part of groups that we deem desirable.
So stop calling yourself too “weak” or “insensitive”….
The pain of rejection is a survival mechanism that motivates us to reinvent ways through which we can be a part of groups that we deem desirable.
So stop calling yourself too “weak” or “insensitive”….
7/ for feeling these universal feelings.
After you’ve accepted this pain, take care of yourself just like the way you would if you had injured yourself in your legs or hands.
Provide yourself self-care or a “Bedrest” day to heal and by doing things that make you feel good….
After you’ve accepted this pain, take care of yourself just like the way you would if you had injured yourself in your legs or hands.
Provide yourself self-care or a “Bedrest” day to heal and by doing things that make you feel good….
8/ Don’t our moms cook tasty items when we are injured to distract us from the pain?
For this similar pain, treat yourself nicely by doing others things that you love.
For this similar pain, treat yourself nicely by doing others things that you love.
9/ Make a list of things that you find happiness in apart from grad school.
It could be
• Music
• Art
• Dance
• Kindness
• Love & much more…
Remember that grad school is just a part of our happiness pie, our rest of the pie comes from above mentioned ingredients….
It could be
• Music
• Art
• Dance
• Kindness
• Love & much more…
Remember that grad school is just a part of our happiness pie, our rest of the pie comes from above mentioned ingredients….
10/ So let’s make use of these to bake a fresh pie of hope and happiness till we work on getting the other ingredients (grad school success) for our next pie!
Share it with someone who is having a hard time coping with rejections ❤️💪🏼
Share it with someone who is having a hard time coping with rejections ❤️💪🏼
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