> LOOK

It is dark.

> GET LIGHT

You flip the switch on the nightlight. You are in bedroom. You can see:

Wailing Baby, Pot of Sudocrem, Size 2 Nappies

> GET MILK

You can't do that yet.
> FIX BABY WITH CREAM

You slather the baby with the creamy unguent. The baby slips through your fingers onto the bed, and wails more loudly!

> FIX BABY WITH NAPPIES

You'll need a mat for that.

> SMELL BABY

The baby smells clean, with a hint of cheese. Roquefort?
> OUT

You go out. You are in Kitchen. You can see:

Fridge, Sink, Kettle, Milk Powder, Empty Bottle

> EXAMINE FRIDGE

The Fridge contains a cold bottle. The bottle contains: icy water.
> MAKE MILK WITH ICY WATER

You try to make the milk with the icy water, but it congeals into sludge.

> BOIL KETTLE

The kettle comes to a brisk boil, bubbling happily.

> MAKE MILK WITH KETTLE AND BOTTLE

You add some boiling water and milk powder to the bottle. Ouch, it's hot!
> FIX MILK WITH ICY WATER

You add some icy water to the milk. It looks like... milk. Funny, that.

> UP

You go upstairs.

> FIX BABY WITH MILK

The baby slurps the milk, and then grimaces and farts.

> FIX BABY WITH MILK

The baby slurps the milk, then stops and looks puzzled.
> PAT BABY

You sling the baby over a shoulder and pat and rub it. "Buuuuuurp!"

> FIX BABY WITH MILK

The baby declines the milk. It has begun to smell quite odd.

> FIX BABY WITH NAPPIES

You'll need a mat for that.

...

• • •

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More from @AlecMuffett

25 Oct
1/ Oh this is glorious: *NOW* Frances Haugen says that she supports end-to-end encryption… buuuuut:

2/ …but: now she wants to enforce a

"1 Human Being" = "1 Instagram Account"

...real-name, real-identity policy, in order to "protect the children" by stopping them doing and seeing bad things.

3/ …and that if you cannot prevent something, you are therefore encouraging it:



Frances Haugen apparently wants to kill online anonymity, and require us all to have fixed and singular online identities.
Read 13 tweets
25 Oct
1/ So @StevenLevy has written at length about the "Badge Posts" - the goodbye, final messages posted for other employees to read as they leave the company.

You'll find his article here:

wired.com/story/facebook…
2/ But these are not just "human interest" stories; some are meant to achieve something, and in my case the goal was to move Facebook away from implementing national identities & censorship within the Facebook platform.

I wrote a response to Steven:

alecmuffett.com/article/14994
3/ But I felt that that was not enough to explain what was going on, how Facebook may be changed, and the critical importance of fostering frank and constructive engagement in order to make effective change.
Read 5 tweets
24 Oct
> My interview with @StevenLevy of Wired re: @FrancesHaugen leaking my Facebook Engineering “Goodbye Post”

I'm posting this with password-embargo until Steven's @Wired article is posted; but I have a message for Frances Haugen in this screencap extract.

alecmuffett.com/article/14994
Frances is talking to @CommonsDCMS tomorrow, so she should have opportunity to bring this message of privacy and safety to people who would benefit from it.

/cc @DanMilmo

theguardian.com/technology/202…
Oh dear, oh dear:

>Facebook whistleblower warns ‘dangerous’ encryption will aid espionage by hostile nations

>Ex-employee has taken aim at Sir Nick Clegg and warns new encryption plans are an attempt to cover-up harmful online material

Read 14 tweets
23 Oct
SATURDAY NIGHT THOUGHTS: it'll be weird if the echo-chamber of politicians, journalists, and "safety" / child-protection advocates succeed in somehow banning algorithmic content feeds… and then evaporate when the rage which feeds their community dialectic eventually dissipates.
Say we all move to "chronological" feed ranking as the sole metric. QUANGOs and Charities are not natural "friends" of people, so they'll have to vastly increase their posting and reposting rates in order to maintain visibility.

This will annoy "power users" who follow them.
The net result will be that "worthy" causes either suffer a dramatic drop in direct engagement, OR ELSE they lose access to influential followers.

There's a potential workaround in curated interest "lists", but RSS taught us that most people won't put in the effort.
Read 4 tweets
11 Sep
1/ It's tempting to be darkly snarky about this article, along the lines of

"Met Commissioner Cressida Dick calls for more terrorists to be 'known to the police' before committing atrocities"

…the allusion being that (continued)

telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/09/1…
2/ The allusion being that Security Services are already swamped in more "data" than they are "intelligence".

Evidence? INHOPE, the global Child Safety Hotline umbrella organisation, are swamped with old & stale reports, so develop "triage" tools:

inhope.org/EN/articles/wh…
3/ However it seems egregious of Ms Dick to raise this on the anniversary of a event which was clearly not enabled by E2E-Encryption - because there was hardly any of it in 2001.

Hell, the Paris attacks 14 years later, were arranged via plaintext SMS:

arstechnica.com/tech-policy/20…
Read 15 tweets
17 Aug
Apple's on-your-iPhone #CSAM scanning — using your phone's resources to check whether you're a paedophile — is illiberal, misconceived, and dangerously architected. WORSE: they tie the hands even of those who they claim will vouch for Apple's honesty…
Apple's "Appeal to Code Inspection" as a solution for trusting their #CSAM photo scanning is… a fig leaf. It's a PR spin meant to obscure something dirty — if they were serious, why not Open-Source iPhoto with reproducible builds? — but worse it ACTUALLY detracts from the issue. Image
The ACTUAL issue is that "what happens on your iPhone no longer stays on your iPhone"; that promise is broken, and the privacy of your phone will be in constant tension with the iCloud team's ongoing attempts to coerce you to use, and pay for, locked-in cloud storage.
Read 4 tweets

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