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Christopher Keelty Profile picture
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31 Oct, 7 tweets, 1 min read
I think I'm not going to have time to make the tombstones I had planned for the yard, which is a shame... I was writing pandemic-related poetry for the headstones.
Here lies Chuck
Cleansed of sin
Ivermectin did him in
Sally's buries
Six feet deep
Her last words
were "You're all sheep!"
The school board knew Sue as a beast
Now the worms will have a feast
God's claimed Margie, dear old lass
Laid low by a Clorox glass
In his casket, Clarence rots
Now his kids can get their shots
Here lies Charles, horse paste imbiber
Joe Rogan’s down one more subscriber

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More from @keeltyc

Christopher Keelty Profile picture
3 Nov
There's another point here which is that voters SAY they dislike partisanship, which is why the Dems are like this... but how do voters even define partisanship?
I just recently had an exchange where I posted on a community message board to explain what New York's ballot propositions did. I was studiously non-partisan, just explaining the mechanics of each, not the implications or who would benefit, etc.
I was immediately accused of "partisanship" because I didn't mention how no-excuse absentee voting would lead to "ballot harvesting" and "much more fraud to benefit the Democrats."
Read 4 tweets
Christopher Keelty Profile picture
3 Nov
It seems to me that a great way to lose elections is to commit to civility and bipartisanship in an era of record polarization among the electorate.
The Dems seem to think they can make politics less polarized by leading from the top? Meanwhile they GOP wins because they listen to their voters and appeal to that polarization.

I think this has everything to do with the GOP being much, much younger on average.
Like we literally watched a GOP insurrection beat people to death in an effort to overturn our government to get their way... and the Dems dragged their feet on an investigation, insisting on bipartisanship. Do they really not realize how that looks to their voters???
Read 4 tweets
Christopher Keelty Profile picture
3 Nov
I’m seeing the bad reviews for Eternals, and really wondering if, post-Thanos, viewers want to be done with big MCU epics for a while. Like, it’s over. You told a good story, it was satisfying. Now let’s just chill for a while.
That, and I do think they’re a bit clumsy with how they’re introducing new arcs. With the initial roll-out of Thanos, they made a bunch of stand-alone movies and just dropped TINY hints about the bigger arc that was coming.
Now a lot of projects (Loki) get pretty well sabotaged by the desire to tie in to bigger stories and tease what’s coming next. Even if the big story is fun, each individual piece becomes less satisfying to watch.
Read 4 tweets
Christopher Keelty Profile picture
2 Nov
Again, it's a shame Americans are never taught how the Nazis came to power (our history classes skip to the war and the Holocaust) because Hawley's arguments here are verbatim how the Nazis recruited young German men.
Americans are raised to think the definition of Nazi is "hates Jews," but what lured millions of Germans to the party were promises to restore traditional masculinity, fight social corruption (porn/sex/homosexuality) and restore Germany to national pride instead of shame.
Which is hugely problematic, because the more you learn about the growth of fascist movements in the early 20th century, the clearer the parallels become with contemporary Republican/conservative rhetoric. It's not hyperbole at all to say this is Nazi talk.
Read 5 tweets
Christopher Keelty Profile picture
1 Nov
Now I'm watching Little Shop of Horrors, and it's fun how much you can see Frank Oz is used to directing Muppets.
The staging, the camera movements, the timing... It's all extremely Muppety. And not in a bad way.
Also: SUCH a great Steve Martin role. The character is deplorable, but Martin manages to make him fun as hell to watch.
Read 9 tweets
Christopher Keelty Profile picture
14 Sep
Lord, I just realized a lot of you are too young to have lived through Norm Macdonald's run on Weekend Update, and that's a tragedy. One of the greatest eras in SNL history.
Looking back it was such a clash of generations: "Hip" Boomers, who adored Dennis Miller, absolutely hated Norm Macdonald. But as the weeks went by he dug in his heels and intensified all the things they hated. It was performance art.
It was widely reported at the time that NBC President Don Ohlmeyer, a personal friend of OJ Simpson, had commanded Norm to stop calling OJ a murderer... so of course Norm just dug in, and delivered the line with more relish. And that culminated in his firing.
Read 6 tweets

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