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2 Nov, 4 tweets, 1 min read
A DAY WITH QANON

💁‍♂️: Let’s go to Dealey Plaza today and greet John F. Kennedy, Jr. when he returns from the dead

🙎🏻‍♀️: Sounds good

(entire day passes)

🙎‍♂️: Fuckin’ pedophiles, man
👩🏽‍🦱: I have no choice but to conclude that you Q fanatics are seven different flavors of cuckoo bananas

👨: HA! You’ve fallen right into our trap

👩🏽‍🦱: How so

👨: It’s Election Day, and nothing motivates Republicans to vote faster than elitist sneering like yours

👩🏽‍🦱: Oh, FFS
👨: While you were laughing at us all day, your mockery galvanized the base that couldn’t wait to put you Democrats in your place

👩🏽‍🦱: It’s scary how that almost makes sense

🙎🏻‍♀️: Go ahead, liberals! Laugh at us some more!

👨: (licks icy flagpole)

🙎🏻‍♀️: (gets head stuck in toilet)
👩🏽‍🦱: You’re saying that you’re so confident that our mockery of you will backfire on us that you’re acting like idiots on purpose?

👨: We’re not not doing that

🙎🏻‍♀️: You’ll never be sure!

👩🏽‍🦱: Well, have fun

👨: WHERE WE GO ONE, WE GO ALL!

🙎🏻‍♀️: (pours Spaghetti-Os down pants)

• • •

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
1 Nov
FOX: Hi, we’ve spent 6 months convincing our viewers that teachers were using CRT to brainwash children into hating white people

D: But

R: We are motivated & energized to vote for Republicans to rid our schools of the CRT menace

NYT: Can Democrats Overcome the Enthusiasm Gap?
FOX: Black Lives Matter Thugs Rioting & Looting Antifa Critical Race Theory Immigrants MS-13 Sharia Law China Virus Woke Mob Border Emergency

R: Maybe you Democrats would win more elections if you weren’t focused so singlemindedly on race
D: Nobody teaches CRT in public schools

R: By “CRT”, of course I mean any curriculum that suggests institutional racism is now or was ever a thing

D: That’s a pretty wide net to cast

R: Not if the schools just stop talking about race

D: I see

R: Also, Cancel Culture sucks
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
1 Nov
The Left isn’t trying to cancel Christmas.

The Right continues to insist otherwise because they are fundamentally dishonest people who don’t care.
Robert Byrd was not a racist for his entire life. He renounced the Klan & was honored by the NAACP.

The Right continues to pretend that never happened because they are fundamentally dishonest people who don’t care.
Critical Race Theory is not taught in public schools. The term is misused to reflect any blanket acknowledgement of white privilege or institutional racism, which does exist.

The Right continues to insist otherwise because they are fundamentally dishonest people who don’t care.
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
30 Oct
Some comedians discuss serious issues in their acts. They are more than entitled to do so. Their views can be enlightening, or infuriating.

But “Don’t take him seriously; he’s just a comedian” does not absolve anyone of the responsibility to stand by the meaning of his words.
I understand that context is important. That is not what I am describing here. It is the blanket defense of ANY comedian’s words with the argument that you’re not allowed to take them seriously, even if context indicates that they intended their words to be as serious as cancer.
I’ll acknowledge that I’m talking mostly about Dave Chappelle & Bill Maher, two comics capable of great insight who have also used their platforms to promote ignorant & infuriating ideas. A recent comment on the latter’s Facebook page struck me as something of a Platonic ideal:
Read 18 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
29 Oct
D: Trump was responsible for 500,000 Coronavirus deaths

R: He warned us that a virus was coming from China & tried to block immigrants from spreading it

D: But he never supported any other actions to restrict the spread of the virus

R: My counterargument is that I don’t care
D: A mob of Trump supporters derailed the Biden certification by scaling the walls of the Capitol & threatening Senators

R: The only violent people were Antifa in disguise

D: But Trump had threatened to overturn the election for weeks

R: My counterargument is that I don’t care
D: Kyle Rittenhouse brought an illegal firearm to Kenosha so he could shoot protesters

R: It was perfectly legitimate for him to protect his property from a horde of marauding BLM thugs

D: He wasn’t legally allowed to carry a weapon

R: My counterargument is that I don’t care
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
27 Oct
The Great Kyle Rittenhouse Gaslighting Operation is a sustained Republican effort to encourage vigilante violence against anti-authoritarian agitators like Black Lives Matter & Antifa under the guise of maintaining order and protecting businesses from potential rioting & looting
I think that even the NRA of 20 years ago would try & distance themselves from a 17-year-old kid who illegally brought a gun to the site of a protest & started firing at participants but today they recognize that their target demographic actively celebrates Rittenhouse’s mission
I know many NRA activists pay lip service to Protecting Themselves from Tyranny but the real mission of the NRA is “We need guns to defend ourselves from brown people swarming over our borders and thugs rioting & looting in the streets and also the best defense is a good offense”
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
24 Oct
My God, she’s right - nine months into his Presidency, two out of every five Biden voters I meet are tearing open their shirts & screaming WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?
If only Joe Biden had visited the border and seen firsthand the destruction wrought by the invasion of brown people, he would have demanded the swift completion of Trump’s border wall. Plus, he should have told Fauci to pound sand & redacted all COVID restrictions immediately
You have no idea just how many Democrats are FURIOUS that Joe Biden is allowing the rampant proliferation of Marxist practices like critical race theory, cancel culture, and the capital-gains tax to divide our nation’s young people
Read 5 tweets

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