Overhearing my husband talking about how coding is still a "boy's club" with his coworker & listening to them plot together about practical ways they can support female coders.
I love him.
My husband, the Prince Among Men: "There won't be a higher percentage of female coders in the field until we change & make coding teams a place where they feel like they belong."
Also my husband, talking to Southern Baptist men: "I feel like my calling is to support my wife's calling."
If you're like me, the past six years have brought a deep sense of betrayal as we've seen people who loved us well & taught us how to follow Jesus buy into some very dark deception.
A thread about how sincere people who love Jesus lose their way & why they struggle to come back.
None of this is a surprise to people who have been suffering from the blindspots of white evangelicalism for hundreds of years.
It's a shock if you were nurtured in that tradition & were taught to call the darkness light or to call bad fruit good or pretend the cancer wasn't deadly.
@AmandaM16996130@realmattcarr I'm planning on writing something when I'm done with my never-ending Master's thesis. I think a lot of people are wrestling with these things & need to hear from people who still have some hope, even if it's just 10% of what it used to be.
@AmandaM16996130@realmattcarr I know that so many evangelicals & exvangelicals feel very alone & don't have spaces to talk about the betrayal that they feel in the face of the infidelity of their elders & friends.
@AmandaM16996130@realmattcarr It can feel really lonely especially b/c so many people who are feeling that betrayal are (understandably) responding by chucking everything. I can't chuck everything b/c there is too much that is real & good & necessary. It's hard to sift through.
The same people who bought the Southern Strategy are gobbling up anti-CRT hysteria mongering. It's terrifying to reckon w/ the possibility that we laundered our racism when it was no longer respectable to our own consciences or in public to be overtly racist.
Many people whose judgment I previously trusted have proven themselves to be gullible & easily manipulated by any pandering idolater who tells them whatever their itching ears want to hear so they don't have to face the truth about themselves, their own elders, or their country.
Our capacity for self deception is terrifying. The longer we have had a blindspot & ordered our lives around it, the more it feels like an abyss of fear & shame that will suck us in along with all the sunk costs of our misdirected activities & misplaced priorities.
@AndrewRillera It has so much to do with our attachment bonds with our caregivers shape our basic grammar of the way the word feels, which is the foundation for what the world means & how we should name it.
@AndrewRillera@K__Mayfield@d_l_mayfield@propheticimagin All of our knowledge is built on trust. What we can see depends on ways we have relied on others to see and name and understand the world around us. We can come to see differently, but that means trusting differently.
I think about this a lot with all the tragic accounts of spiritual abuse that we have heard from the @ACNAtoo survivors of @MidwestAnglican. I believe that the leaders were sincere, but time after time they dismissed the people they were hurting. A 🧵.
This is very easy to do if you are convinced that you are doing a better job than most at taking the Holy Spirit seriously & are deeply invested in seeing growth & transformation in the people under your care.
I believe that all the leaders of the @MidwestDiocese have probably been completely sincere in their good intentions to help people and didn't realize at the time that they were hurting people.
Sam, returning from the store after getting my cousin ginger ale & resupplying me w/Guinness & cheese: "Heather, I will say this to you, which is one of @WarrenKinghorn 's favorite quotes: 'It is good that you exist. It is good that you are in the world.'"
Me: "...That's specific...But what publisher, Sam? What edition? The pagination might vary between editions."
I wish that Sam read the same books and articles that I do so that he could instantly generate a perfectly formatted footnote citation or bibliography entry on my behalf at a moment's notice.