Joshua Cypess Profile picture
Nov 7, 2021 43 tweets 17 min read Read on X
69.01/ Week sixty-nine, Nov. 6-12, 2021, thread begins here.

Week 68 below.
69.02/ Barukh Dayan ha-Emet. Feuerstein was a baal-chesed and tzadik.…
69.03/ #HappyBirthday to all who celebrate!
69.04/ Took a part-time job changing clocks in my house.

[Changing digital clocks]: 3 button presses.

[Changing analog clocks]: "Has anyone seen my protractor?"

69.05/ [Me, 6 yrs ago]: I think I have a pretty good understanding of human behavior.

[2021: seeing people take horse de-wormer instead of a miracle vaccine while throwing cash into a wood chipper to support a money-laundering, climate destroying pyramid scheme] I know nothing.
69.06/ Those who invented & perpetuate #DaylightSavingTime either never parented, nor (more likely) care one bit, babies and toddlers. Same thing with pets.

Let's govern the country with compassion. At least try it?
69.10/ One year anniversary for VB Day (Victory Biden) aka VK Day (Victory Kamala). One of the best days in my life given everything we'd gone through at that point: defeating fascism in the ballot box & electing the first woman to the 2nd highest office.
69.12/ Getting dunked on by Terry Bradshaw is a sign of how low Rodgers has fallen. And I love it. #HereWeGo

(Terry has LDs so he was maligned as "stupid." Yet he called his own plays and was 4-0 in Superbowls. Always will be my favorite #Steelers QB)
[69.13/ CW: abuse]

Adrian Peterson, who beat his child with a tree branch, is starting a game on #SNF, just in case you wanted an answer to "what does it take to get canceled in the #NFL?"

As usual, the only answer is "protest racist police brutality"…
69.14/ Tired: Freaking out about how early mincha is now that the clocks have changed.

Inspired: Davening mincha as early as possible so I can daven Maariv after *plag* and not worry about minyan for 14 hours.
69.15/ In the early internet, acronyms allowed quick communication & mirth was translated via violent physicality e.g. ROTFL (Roll on the Floor Laughing). Smartphones use emojis instead of acronyms which resulted in laughter paired with sadness/crying. In this essay I will show..
69.16/ I inadvertently leave jokes for myself in my notes and files. For example, in my parsha files for Vayeitzei folder, I have this ebook link saved (hint, see Genesis 30:37-42)…
69.17/ Good news: 3 of my teams - Knicks, Rangers, and Steelers - were on TV simultaneously

Better: All 3 won!

Bad (for my health): All blew major leads and subjected me to nail-biters. The #Steelers are mamish trying to kill me... after all I've given them, too #HereWeGo
69.18/ Just realized that all those privileged whiners who misuse the MLK Jr. quote about judging by character not skin are the same people who say "I don't see color."

And a very good likelihood they judge racism by bones, as in "I don't have a racist bone in my body."
69.19/ This is a great list and the capsule biographies are well crafted
69.20/ Republicans have been nihilistic and fighting a diverse free republic for decades but they are very effective at branding. Somehow they've sold the view they champion "liberty" and are good for the economy. See below for that claim is bunk.
69.21a/ Quick comments about the MNF #Steelers win: (1) CHI beat CIN & LV, 2 teams we lost to, so they weren't pushovers; (2) BAL went to overtime with 3-4 MIN & beat DET with a historic FG, so have some perspective; (3) Justin Fields on the right team can be a superstar
69.21b/ #CHIvsPIT cont. (4) As for the bad officiating. CHI should know: Jesse James on the roster means you'll lose close calls. I don't make the rules. (5) Joking aside: PIT got many gift calls. So exchange CHI's taunting for McCloud's non-fumble. Fair?
69.22/ A major reason for why the GOP is successful in their cold Civil War is that they are bullies - i.e. fundamentally fragile cowards using structural advantages to hurt others & stay on top - and most "leaders" are enablers/easily bullied (I saw this with Comey and the MSM)
69.23/ SNL's #CelebrityJeopardy was pure mirth and this is a good start, I wish some geek would make a list of all the categories.

In my house, we quote "Light Urple," "Febtober" and "Eleventy billion" often.…
69.24/ This exchange captured in the wild of a NFT-rube discovering he's been conned is lovely. Favorite line? When he imperiously declares to the mountebank who stole his image "this is your first and last warning." Gullible bravado is their real brand.
69.25/ Dr. Blattman saying there are few conservatives on faculty at *Chicago* reveals he (1) has no capacity for evaluating observable data that arise as sensations in the material world and/or (2) is so ideologically extreme that his words carry no shared societal meaning. Chris Blattman@cblatts I fi...
69.26/ Attacking college is a huge red flag and a sweaty projection of what they want to replace it with. "They indoctrinate & punish minority views!" No, they don't. But that is clearly what these brutes crave.

And frummies? Imagine an attack on yeshivot. Same vibe, same goal.
69.27/ (1) I would expect this. (2) I really hope mine is "Big Tipper" or something laudatory but likely it's a prominent food in my standard order (once I figure out what they do that I like, I order it every time). Like "Here comes Sweet & Sour Wonton!"
69.28/ I put ketchup on my #latkes because (1) thematically potatoes & tomatoes are both new world foods (2) they're hash browns! QED (3) who puts applesauce on *anything* (4) why should anyone listen to anyone else about the proper way to eat something if you like what you do?
69.29/ As I said last week, pejoratively using the term "woke" is an easy litmus test for bad-faith, lazy thinking. When Maureen Dowd, bursting through the wall like a resentful Kool-Aid Man of dullard privilege, uses the term the next day? [Chef's kiss]
In "Opinion" sect...
69.30/ Very nice, substantive, interview of my sister-in-law @LeahCypess in the Asimov magazine about her recent historical fiction writing:…
69.31/ I've said many times: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

At the same time, I completely understand the desire to want the horrible problems to be solved all at once. That's not lazy; the pain of injustice can be crippling.
69.32/ Very well put.

I've said for a while now that the engines of propaganda are a toxic flood that's constantly destroying whatever we're trying to build. We'll have only temporary gains until we dismantle Fox/FB/Sinclair's poison factories.

69.33/ I remember watching the SNL about the assassination of Buckwheat in real time. While my affection for the running joke is tinged with nostalgia, I remember the delight and laughter with fondness.

69.34/ This is a very important point - both more practical and more ethical - and I agree 100%: "Think less about convincing/converting right-leaning people and more about rallying your own troops. It’s liberating"
69.35/ This is such a great idea! Especially to give the kids a visual for understanding what is evidently too complicated for the troglodyte RedHats.
69.36/ No lies detected: "A non-accredited, non-research university that does not confer degrees... mama that's a book club."
69.37/ Listening to Jeff Buckley "Hallelujah" & while I get the irony - said often by those in the know - that the song's theme seems inappropriate for solemnity, I personally say Psalms every day in Shacharit and woo baby have you checked out *those* lyrics?
69.38/ Torah thread for this week's parsha with 5 topics. #ReshetKeshet.

69.39/ My animal identity is a duck (ask anybody, this is well known) so I am mortified that one of my fellows would run a marathon. It goes against all we waddle for. Yet, this is awesome. (The sound at the beginning are ducks cheering it on, I presume)
69.40/ My strongly held belief is that if a Right Guard catches a forward pass and gets somersaulted over the goal line then it's a touchdown. Look at this guy!

A Miami dolphin offensive l...
69.41/ The more I think about the Marathon Duck the more I think it was like me and Beacon St. in the Boston Marathon and trying to just cross the road (to get to shul). As my daughter reminded me, everyone makes a big deal when the chicken does it.
69.42/ Seeing a fellow mask-wearer in shul gives me the same feeling as seeing another kipah in an airport.
69.43/ It's now clear that the "take him seriously not literally" fools were (a) terrible judges of character, and/or (b) desperately hoping the literal would happen but knew to lie to us. And don't forget that TFG often did the literal things he pledged.
69.44/ I found it useful when I hear a guy say about himself that he's an "alpha male" - or any similar term of macho posturing - to imagine him wearing a red foam nose and wearing shoes that honk like a bike horn.

[Note: I broke the thread somehow]
69.45/ Wow, Shabbas starts imminently or at least it feels like it. Early Shabbas has great benefits (a LOT of sleep, long Sat. nights) but >yipe< Fridays are nuts. #ShabbatShalom everybody!

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More from @JoshuaCypess

May 6
199.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-nine, May 4-10, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 198 below.
199.02/ FYI - I did some research and evidently the real 2015 ad this skit is parodying was about a father sending his kid to the US Army (i.e. the army was presented in the same gauzy way as college).…
199.03/ This is great.

IMO the 2 best are (1) PIT-BAL b/c both teams are always good, the games always close, violent & have playoff implications. (2) NYG-PHI b/c no matter how good/bad either are the game can go either way & the fanbases HATE each other.
Read 5 tweets
May 1
198.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-eight, April 27-May 3, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 197 below.
198.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #AchareiMot & #Kedoshim 5783. @ChochmatNashim

It's going to be hard updating the 5784 edition before Shabbas, so please enjoy this "classic" version from last year. Divrei Torah from Orthodox women scholars on the parsha.…
@ChochmatNashim 198.03/ The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found her... Mazal Tov and congratulations to my wife, Dr. Rebecca Cypess, on her new position as Dean of Stern College and Yeshiva College! BE"H her new position will allow her to help heal academia.…
Read 10 tweets
Apr 16
196.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-six, April 13-19, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 195 below.
196.02/ Still holds true (from last year)
196.03/ #NachasAlert: My son has a big article (pages 4-6) in this week's Torah journal from his high school #Metzora-#HaGadol. Enjoy!…
Read 5 tweets
Apr 7
195.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-five, April 6-12, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 194 below.
195.02/ Happy #Eclipse2024 Day for all who celebrate. Here's an interesting article about the halakhic implications of an eclipse by Rabbi Dov Linzer:…
195.03/ #Eclipse2024 My extended family went to a place of 100% totality and took this picture a few minutes ago. For me its 90% and can't be photographed (which is one reason I said shehechiyanu). Not paskening for anyone else, but for me this is a religious experience. The total eclipse of April 8, 2024
Read 10 tweets
Apr 2
194.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-four, March 30-April 5, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 193 below.
194.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #Shemini 5784.
Downloadable PDF with working links to Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars on the parsha and other topics of the week. #Shmini #HaChodesh…
194.03/ This is, 'how you say?, "awesome sauce"
Read 5 tweets
Mar 24
193.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-three, March 23-29, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 192 below. #HappyPurim!
193.02/ This is now my preferred pshat
193.03/ #NachasAlert: Final (so far) tally of times my son leyned Megillah seven times; 3 last night, four times today. Including once for a home-bound Shoah survivor. So proud.
Read 9 tweets

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