Thread by @wrong_speak

I once had a friend, a white liberal female, who used to joke with me about woke people, post riots, suddenly sounds just like them. As we were arguing she said "Well, I listen to black voices" and I said "I'm black, does my voice matter?"

We used to have conversations about what it means to be black from a philosophical standpoint. Then suddenly, there is only one black thought. My voice was no longer acceptable. Matter of fact, I was now tainted as a friend.

This is a person that I would spend holidays with her family, hang out routinely and have long conversations with. Suddenly, my voice no longer matters as a black man because it's been overshadowed by ideologues who only see one proper way of being black.

In my book, I talk about another friend that is from Europe who I met while traveling. We met multiple times during our travels and kept in touch. We had good memories and were always respectful. Until the day came when I said "I agree with Trump on some things"

Then it fell through from there. Our friendship was now minimalized into being about my supposed victimhood. A man that has never lived in America, said to me "I can't believe you can't see how racist America is".

I would never deny that there are some racist people because hate exists. However, overwhelmingly, my experience in America has been positive when it comes to interacting with people from different races.

Even when I told him that we don't need to discuss politics, he couldn't help himself. He would send me articles explaining why Trump is horrible and he even used the classic "Hitler" reference when describing him. This was based on me agreeing on SOME things Trump does.

What finally ended this relationship was when he sent me a text saying "This is my last attempt to save you..." which I responded by deleting his number from my phone. This type of behavior is not the behavior of a friend, it's the behavior of an self-righteous savior.

For my white female friend, our friendship ended because she was consistently antagonizing. When I published my book and started doing podcasts, she was going in the comments. Even went on my own website to leave a comment at which I called her and confronted her.

Correction, I texted her. Understand, passive aggressive people avoid confrontation. She had my number but she refused to communicate directly with me like an adult. I texted her and said what's the deal. We argued and then she called me a "pseudo-intellectual".

I told her to go fuck herself and deleted her number. The point of me stating these stories is so people understand that there is a major amount of condescension happening when it comes to the topic of race, especially for black people and it's mainly from white Liberals.

There is no one way to be "black". There is no one way to be anything in this world. No friend would ever try to pigeonhole you into being what they think you should be. Either I'm a good human being or not.

This pandemic really helped to show me who are genuine people in my life, regardless of race. The people who are still with me care about me and not about my politics. They care that I'm a good man, that I'm now happily married and good father. Politics mean little to them.