Thread by @GlenBricker

I was in a wonderful Twitter space #NeurodivergentinTech hosted by @dev_nikema yesterday. I encountered it through @wesley83.

It was a great & safe space to talk about ND and workplace issues.

Some notes to share for those who might want these resources:

There is a significant correlation between ADHD and undiagnosed autism. Especially for anyone older than 30, non-white, non-male.

Undiagnosed autistic people go through their whole lives feeling like the don’t fit.

They learn to present a false self called a “mask” that matches “allistic” that is the word for non-autistic expectations.

We don’t “get” why people speak in vague terms and people get angry at us, calling us pedantic, smart asses, or troublemakers.

We ask a LOT of questions and people think we are stupid but it is because we can think of so many things the person could mean and we don’t want to make a mistake.

There is a lot of myths that we don’t have emotions. Some people who have autism don’t have empathy. Most have relatively traditional empathy. Some like myself have hyper empathy.

I frequently cry. Overwhelmed by emotions. If someone around me is hurting I can only think about helping them. Even to my severe detriment.

Autistic people tend to like things to be the same all the time. If you were “just fine” with bunkering down for Covid and where shocked by the “cabin fever” everyone else showed. That is a pretty big tell.

If surprises can really upset you. And a few minutes later you don’t know why you had such a huge reaction that is a big sign.

If you really really like a few things. That is called “special interests” we also tend to like to hear people talk about things in great and passionate detail “big talk” instead of “small talk”

We perceive the world different. Every autistic is more sensitive to some things and less sensitive to other senses than the allistic.

I do not feel “right” when I am not in physical contact with a living thing. My cloths and where I sit have to be just right. If there is not air circulation I feel like I am suffocating. Not a little bit, I get more and more upset until I have to leave the space.

Sounds are immensely distracting. I have a very dull sense of smell.

Autistic people have such a different experience with the world around them that they are often unintentionally gaslit by those close to them and the mental healthy profession.

For example, we often have hard wired drives and responses and stims. Therapist will tell us it’s all in our head and it is in our “brain” but not something we can change, only learn to manage.

Stims by the way are repetitive behaviors. Like a movement of a hands, rocking, repeating a phrase. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stimming

I was forced to suppress my stimming to the point that I didn’t “feel” it anymore, just an immense stress through my entire body. I learned to listen to my impulses again and stim and it feel right and keeps me calm.

One of the most important things is overstimulation leading to meltdown and shutdown.

Autistics who experience too much stimulation (this can be sensory or just dealing with people) hit a breaking point. It can be anything that pushes an autistic over the edge and a meltdown or a shutdown will occur.

A shutdown is a quiet retreat from everything.

A meltdown is a powerful emotional release that is often mistaken for a tantrum. An autistic person might cry, shout, push people away, bolt. We don’t fully think clearly during meltdown. We say a lot of hyperbolic stuff in a meltdown.

Oh, I can’t look people in eyes. It hurt my head and is overwhelming. That is common. It’s too emotional.

So, why does all this matter? Because we are a valid neurotype, as valid as Allistics.

We are disabled by our environment not by our bodies. When we are a bad environment it is very triggering and stressful and debilitating. When we are in our ideal environment and accommodated we tend to be amazing.

Oh, Autistic memory. Allistics apparently have really good recall of general everyday stuff. They basically have a low detail recording of everything going on their entire lives.

Autistics tend to have extremely detailed memories of events that are important to us. We imprint emotions on our memories in ways that allistic people don’t. It builds up trauma.

Autistic people often quite literally are feeling things in a very visceral way that is overwhelming when the rest of the world is doing just fine. It causes others to see us a whiny or manipulative.

This video explains so much:

There is a very common theme among autistic people.

We understand each other on an intuitive level.

People with the tag #ActuallyAutistic are people who have been diagnosed autistic or are “self diagnosed”

Within a week of exploring “autistic Twitter” people tend to know if their are autistic or not.

People who come to autistic Twitter and discover other autistic frequently say things like “I have made friends here in that last week that already know me better than lifelong friends and family”

Sorry, got on a different thread

https://twitter.com/glenbricker/status/1462470597942915084

It is a powerful experience. I recommend it to anyone who is diagnosed as ADHD but doesn’t feel that “fits” or explain the overwhelming struggles in your life.

Autism is nothing like what I thought it was and explains so much.

This may sound a bit paranoid but you will want to avoid resources that use puzzle pieces as a symbol for autism and instead look for rainbow infinity symbols for neurodivergent acceptance.

Oh! And there are tons of autistic parents of autistic kids on #ActuallyAutistic Twitter. They have effortlessly explained things about my autistic kids that my kids’s therapist completely ignored as irrelevant (they refused to accept the clear indicators my kids are autistic).

They have amazing advice on how to work with your kid’s needs and accommodating them rather than forcing them to be something they are not.

Understanding autism has not only been amazing for me personally but made my entire family so much happier and effective.

Oh! If you have netflix. You can watch Hannah Gadsby: Douglas. She is a comic who realized shortly before she made the special that she is autistic. She talks about the experience and the discovery and it made me feel so seen.

It is so amazing to know who I am now and have such deep and profound connections with people of every possible variety imaginable. True diversity not the artificial kind so readily spoken of.