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The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
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25 Nov, 5 tweets, 2 min read
Green beans are not improved by preparation as a casserole.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
People who put marshmallows on yams just want cover to eat marshmallows.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
People who don’t like stuffing can never be fully trusted.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
If presented with an array of pies any other day than Thanksgiving, no one would pick pumpkin.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
The best tasting turkey ranking:

3rd - dark meat

2nd - white meat

1st - the piece you sneak in the kitchen before everyone sits down

#ThanksgivingHotTakes

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More from @TheRealHoarse

The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
27 Nov
There is this weird phenomenon on Twitter where people say crappy things to you while telling you how much they like following you.

If you enjoy following someone, you’re getting something out of their content.

If you are rude or annoying in replies, they can’t say the same.
1/
There’s this weird thing where some of the people who tell you how much they like you seem to think they’re giving you a gift or something.

Like it should indebt you to them and somehow obligates you to like them back no matter how they talk to you.

2/
I’m not running for mayor. I’m not hoping to have everyone’s vote next November.

I’m on here because I have things to say. If people get value out of hearing them, whether they agree or not, awesome.

3/
Read 5 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
27 Nov
Thanksgiving weekend. 37 degrees. Families out for cider and donuts driving by with Christmas trees on the roof.

And these Q-balls are out yelling crazy nonsense.

There is no rehabbing this level of ignorant nutbaggery. ImageImageImageImage
Dude, your kids are in their 40s. Image
Actually, it ends when you sit the fuck down. Image
Read 10 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
24 Nov
I really can’t spend the next year arguing with people who are somehow AGAINST pushing for better communications from Dems.

So, I’m just going to block anyone peddling stupidity about how sucking at communications is somehow fine, necessary, unimportant or unfixable.
Seriously, I mostly hate Twitter lately.

Before Trump was elected, all of my existential screaming at the movie screen while the people in the horror movie couldn’t hear me happened off Twitter.

I didn’t join Twitter until the election.
It sucked the absolute life out of me.

As someone who understood his narcissistic personality disorder from the jump, that helpless screaming into the wind sucked the absolute life out of me.

The triggering of Trump’s narcissism was PTSDish enough.
Read 14 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
24 Nov
Conflict of interest laws exist for good reasons.

“Everything that looks like a potential conflict is one.” is not one of them.

“Every actual conflict of interest materially harms the public.” is not one of them.

1/
Conflict of interest laws exist because, at least in part, because of the understanding that even the *appearance* of a conflict can erode *public faith in government*.

The agency most responsible for enforcing federal conflict of interest provisions is the Dept. of Justice.

2/
There is no entity in our entire government that better understands:

1) Even appearances matter

2) Public faith in government matters

3/
Read 10 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
24 Nov
In every ad agency pitch for a big account, there is that one client who rolls their eyes at even the topic of messaging.

It’s usually a finance guy or ops person invited as a courtesy.

They sit there like a bubbling teapot until they inevitably boil over…

1/
…and blurts something out like “I don’t understand why we need to do all this. 🙄 We just need a good slogan like Nike.”

And everyone else around the table cringes. Their own colleagues.

You were supposed to just sit there and eat your bagel, Frank from Finance.

2/
It’s like the scene in the Devil Wears Prada where Anne Hathaway makes a snide comment about a “blue sweater” and Meryl Streep takes her apart for her simplistic understanding of fashion.

Cerulean. It is cerulean. And you didn’t choose it. You were made to choose it.

3/
Read 16 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
24 Nov
So, funny story…

As it turns out, one of my secret ‘trespassing to birdwatch’ spots is apparently also a local cop’s ‘drink his morning coffee in peace’ spot.
I should note that I am clearly trespassing. I mean, it is signed and fenced off.

But, hey, I know enough about the law to be dead wrong about my rights.

One gate is always open. That makes it like a swimming pool: an inviting nuisance.

They invited me with their nuisance.
Now, “technically” none of what I just said is true. But it **could be true** if it weren’t false.

That’s enough gray area for me.

So, I do a little (finger quotes) trespassing (finger quotes).

Big deal. Is that really a crime?

Well, yes, but I was being figurative.
Read 10 tweets

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