Ok first, what I said was "that the kids can decorate with their own ornaments" NOT "all by themselves". We have 4 kids, it can't be a TINY tree. I never envisioned a tree the kids could put the star on themselves and that's not what I said!
It REALLY didn't look that big at the farm 😜 so this kinda was an accident.
Third: The smaller trees were SO Bad. Seriously so bad. This looked so good in comparison. And see point two.
Fourth: we have three floors in our house. There IS room for this tree even if I did make a mistake. There just... Isn't room THERE.
Fifth: It's Christmas and it only happens once and the kids love it and his complaining will squash their joy in cutting their own tree. So stop😝
Sixth: I did realize it was too big when we got home and told you it wouldn't fit and suggested 2 other places but you dragged it up anyway. And then because you were reading theology when we had that conversation, completely forgot I'd already warned you!
FINALLY: You didn't come because studying for comps. So I fed, packed for and bundled up four kids, drove an hour to the farm, wrangled all of them on the wagon and at the farm, got them all to agree on a tree, got them all to pee in the farm bathrooms without an incident...
Got all of them cups of hot cidar and no one spilled anything,have them the healthy snacks I packed, and then drove an hour home and got dinner.
AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE TREE????
Plus we had fun, dang it. So stop killing the Christmas joy and laugh about it, because I ain't returning it 😂
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I am deeply thankful for the guilty verdict in the slaying of Ahmaud Arbery, but in this gratefulness, it's so critical to remember a few things:
1. Remember how close we came to no trial at all due to corrupt systems and authority figures. Justice was terrifyingly slow and it took far too much suffering and effort from Ahmaud's family, press, and other law enforcement, to get this. That is a terrifying reality.
2. Getting some measure of justice is often the exception, not the rule. This result was good. This does NOT mean the systems are changing/will continue to change, without constant effort and vigilance. Don't stop paying attention - let this spur you to pay MORE attention.
4 yrs ago today I was sitting in court hearing Larry plead guilty to possession of CSAM. The prosecutor read "how much is a little girl worth?" from my letter to the judge, asking for the maximum penalty. Judge Neff gave it. It was the best possible result, and yet...
The little girls in that material still live with it. None were in the courtroom that day to know that anyone even fought for them. I was allowed to write a letter speaking to the sentence because of my role in the assault cases, but I think about them nearly every day.
It was an incredible privilege to speak in any way on their behalf, but even in the best of results, the damage and grief is still there.
The last two weeks have been extra raw for me and I couldn't figure out why until FB reminded me of the date. The body keeps the score.
I am disappointed and grieved to say that this is not what survivors and advocates actually called for and not what LU needs. I hope that this is the result of a lack of understanding on the part of LU and that it will be rectified quickly.
While a Title IX review is not a bad step, most of the allegations and concerns do not relate to technical Title IX policy violations (some do, but not most).
The actual concerns and allegations primarily center around allegations of:
1. A culture that silences survivors and minimizes abuse.
2. Poor responses by faculty and leadership.
3. Resistance to reform by leadership.
4. Lack of good communication on abuse related issues.
5.Lack of awareness and priorization of these issues by leadership.
This article inadvertently plays a part in one of the major reasons, when it notes that sexual contact between Dr and patient is an ethical violation. As if what is described here is consensual contact that just breaches some ethics rules.
Yes, the ethics rules are important and yes there is always a power dynamic, that's why the rule is there.
But when predatory abusive and criminal behavior is flagged as wrong because of an ethics violation, it severely mischaracterizes the abuse and downplays needed response.
Dear EC member who answered the asked question "how much is a little girl worth?" By saying "worth having insurance proceeds to pay her", please hear my heart -
If you are going to speak those words, first ask those little girls and boys what they care about the most:
Ask them if they value money, or the truth, more.
Ask them which one they would rather have.
They will tell you they want the truth. They will tell you the incredible cost they have already paid fighting for it.
Ask the little girls and boys which they would rather accomplish: getting insurance money, or getting to the root problems and fixing them so another child doesn't live through their hell.
They will pick saving a child every single time. They've dedicated their lives to it.
The importance of waiving privilege is a question I get all the time from institutions in crisis - it's an issue in every case I work on.
Here's the bottom-line with waiver - risks and benefits:
The benefit of waiving is huge - because attorneys are usually involved in crafting the policies both for prevention and response, you simply cannot accurately diagnose problems without waiving privilege. You won't have access to all the information.
Not being able to accurately diagnose the problem increases your liability over the long-run because you will keep making mistakes, causing damage, and having responsibility for it. If you want to be a good fiduciary, stop thinking myopically.