Thread by @RCdeWinter

An Australian rugby fan, a South African rugby fan and a New Zealand rugby fan were in Saudi Arabia sharing a smuggled crate of booze when a squad of Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they’re all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, the day their trial finished was a Saudi national holiday and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving 20 lashes each.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The South African was first. He thought for a while, then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the South African had to be carried away bleeding & crying in pain.

The Australian was next up. After watching the South African's horror, he said smugly, "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Australian was soon led away, whimpering loudly.

The New Zealander was last up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Kiwi replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the sheikh replied, smiling. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?
The Kiwi smiled back and said,
"Tie the Australian to my back."