RC deWinter Profile picture
Jongleur trying to do it all who sometimes comes close. My existence is my verification. I don't suffer fools, gladly or otherwise. Love me or leave me.
Buck Borasky, Frontier Programmer Profile picture 1 added to My Authors
3 Mar
There was a magician who performed sleight-of-hand tricks on a cruise ship. He had a regular spot in the ship's evening cabaret.
He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the on-board parrot who would fly around squawking and giving away his secrets like:

"IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE, IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE!"

"IT'S IN HIS POCKET, IT'S IN HIS POCKET!"
"IT'S IN HIS MOUTH, IT'S IN HIS MOUTH!"

The magician was getting pretty sick of it and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening, at the climax of his act, just as he was about to disappear in a puff of smoke,
Read 5 tweets
3 Mar
There was a competition in Spain to discover the world’s greatest swordsman was.The final three competitors had been chosen and were brought on stage.
One of the judges released a small black fly and it buzzed around the stage. The first swordsman stepped forward. With a flick of his wrist faster than you can blink the fly hit the ground in two pieces. The audience cheered wildly.
The second swordsman steps forward. Another fly was released and in two swift motions he cut the fly into four pieces.The audience was even more impressed and gave the man a standing ovation.
Read 5 tweets
3 Mar
#poetry

summer sick day

even as i lay
hating wasted summer
trying to sleep
words rose in my throat
choking me
while my body deconstructed itself

i wrote a sickbed phantasm and purged
finally slept
when i awoke
i remembered my dreams for the first time in months
flickering montages

the dead
the living
and wondered what pernicious magic
these invading microbes worked
to bring these memories to life

© 2016 RC deWinter
Published in @DoorIsAJarMag. Issue 18, Spring 2021, March 2021
Read 6 tweets
3 Mar
#poetry

a walk in november rain

outraged electricity
washes in through the ether
making everything prickly
unsettling my brain

the walls are buzzing
i can’t concentrate
can’t sit
must be up and about
so hooded and wrapped
i stalk wet november streets
a restless wraith trying to make sense
of a world gone mad

the rain almost springlike
cools the crackling heat
of breaking hearts starving bodies
but cannot dissolve the shadows coiling
snakelike round my chest
they constrict my breath
my heart pounds the staccato rhythm
of too much caffeine too much uncertainty
too little sleep

where are the words of passion
and tenderness aching to be written
the unrest i'm inhaling
takes my thoughts elsewhere
Read 7 tweets
2 Mar
#poetry

April Showers

A vicious wind hurls raindrops and bits
of aborted April branches studded with
leafbuds that will never bloom against the
screens with the unconscious artistry of
an expressionist in a trance, all the while
singing in a familiar voice I can't quite
place. Echoing in a neuron corridor
littered with the leftovers of another life
begging to be remembered. But the
synapses are too wet to fire.

Out of the corner of my eye I catch the
smoky outline of a man I thought was you
but isn't. But he has a way about him. Or
maybe he doesn't. Maybe it's just the
leftovers of desire aborted when you fell
into the unmarked grave I visit in my
dreams and decorate with the parts of me
Read 5 tweets
1 Mar
#poetry

thumb out

i have no car
and i'm in desperate need
of a ride
and i'd like you
to be the one to drive me -
crazy
over the edge
off the cliff
straight into the mindless abyss
of ecstasy
i want to be the hitchhiker
you pick up
on the side of the highway
that has so many names
call it what you like
i'm well beyond
shame and shyness now
all i know
is that you're driving
the car i want to ride in
around every curve
and straight on into forever
Read 5 tweets
12 Jan
In an email from @ChrisMurphyCT
Read it. All of it,
“The first thing that seemed wrong was how fast the Republican floor staffer was moving toward Senator Chuck Grassley.
She abruptly rustled him from his seat in the front row of the chamber and motioned that he quickly ascend to the dais, to relieve Vice President Mike Pence in the chair.
This transition from Pence to Grassley as presiding officer was expected, so maybe few people noticed anything out of the ordinary. But to me, the pace at which Pence was exiting the chamber seemed alarming.
Read 29 tweets
10 Jan
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address.

He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read: “Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.”
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna”

The postal worker was touched.

He showed the letter to all the other workers.
Read 7 tweets
10 Jan
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, I'd like to give you a second chance. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."
On Monday, the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs."

“17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them? asked the judge.
Read 6 tweets
10 Jan
Two Canadians died and ended up in hell. Satan decided to pay them a visit, so he walked into their room and saw them talking and laughing. Confused, he asked them why they were so happy.
One of them said, “We were sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, stormed away to Hell's boiler room, where he turned up the temperature.
He went back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged to put the heating back down. He entered the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furious, he asked them what they're doing.
Read 5 tweets
10 Jan
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by:
He got into the taxi and the cabbie said. "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time!"

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Read 8 tweets
10 Jan
A suspected Covid-19 male patient was lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse came to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbled from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replied, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggled to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcame her embarrassment and pulled back the covers.
Read 5 tweets
9 Jan
#poetry

bowling with the cia

i read somewhere
yes it was a reputable source
that a gaggle of scientists

whored out to the government
from thirdrate universities

have declared the prairie dog a condiment

something to be served as a piquancy
on a bun with godknowswhatelse
the prairie dog!
the prairie dog!

a tunneldwelling rodent
whose fleas make them
vectors of the plague

yes
that plague

imagine
chopping and mincing and cooking prairie dogs
to a tasty paste
and the hapless serf
at your favorite fast food palace
asking
would you like yersinia pestis sauce with that?

not to mince words
but
are you fucking kidding me?

wasn't it bad enough when president dementia elevated ketchup
to vegetable status?
Read 7 tweets
9 Jan
#poetry

at the mouth of the tomb

fatigue is
my raincoat it's been
a wet spring
sending a
flood of synthetic dancers
politicians and

heretics
raining down shoddy
counterfeit
coins pour from
hell's own slot machine into
the lap of the world
this is a
near miss comedy
a picnic
of nothing
but yesterday’s cold coffee
and raw injustice

all bridges
burnt windows nailed shut
strings pulled tight
our one brief
opportunity squandered
in petty squabbles
when hunters
the dark efficient
shepherds of
the order
emerge from the wood armed with
the cross and the sword

i flirt with
the thought of being
a hero
but there will
be no medals awarded
for speaking truth now
Read 5 tweets
9 Jan
#poetry

after you

you were a study in contradictions
your measured softly lulling speech
disguised the passion that fueled your breathing
and everything else you did with such feral elegance
you reached in with a strong swift hand and stole my heart
a sweet and bloodless extraction so sure and smooth
it felt like an inside out kiss caressing my invisible self
with the bedrock of you
i remember the savage scrape of your tongue
anointing me with sainthood
painting me in the colors of the rainbow
with all the delicacy of gravel on unprotected skin
Read 5 tweets
5 Jan
With the resurgence of scum like the Proud Boys et al I'm going to post #photos of the unAmerican extremists who support @realDonaldTrump and this #IllegitimateRegime. The world needs to know the company his "#Christian" & other supporters keep. All credit to @petersonpixs/@NYMag
And after seeing these images, I want ONE notable #Christian preacher to explain to me & the rest of the world how/why s/he can support #Drumpf, whose message, history & lifestyle is antithetical to all that Jesus preached.
But not one will step forward b/c there IS no defense.
Loyal White Knights of the KKK
Read 19 tweets
3 Jan
#poetry

Cassandra, Lost

Looking up into the blank slate of night sky.
I'm an immigrant without a map. A dictionary.
Canicula, unseen, barks a warning I cannot interpret
as it echoes across the ages.
I'm an immigrant without a map, a dictionary,
a lost Cassandra silenced in the darkness of ignorance.
As it echoes across the ages
Canicula's message is a sounding brass, more felt than heard.
A lost Cassandra, silenced in the darkness of ignorance,
I fear for the future.
Canicula's message is a sounding brass, more felt than heard.
My skin prickles as I sit, shivering, in the grip of the unknown.
Read 4 tweets
19 Oct 20
I'm going to tweet photos of some of the people who support @realDonaldTrump and the rest of this #IllegitimateRegime. Just to let the world know the company his oh-so-Christian and other supporters keep.
Be afraid. Then #FightBack
All credit to photographer @petersonpixs/@NYMag
THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO EMBRACE #Drumpf & his message of #hatred, #WhiteSupremacy, #intolerance, #racism, #bigotry, #xenophobia, #misogyny etc.
And after seeing these images, I want ONE notable #Christian preacher to explain to me & the rest of the world how/why s/he can support #Drumpf, whose message, history & lifestyle is antithetical to all that Jesus preached.
But not one will step forward b/c there IS no defense.
Read 21 tweets
19 Oct 20
#political #poetry
the rapture

when ice cream became plaster
every lawyer was a bishop
and vice versa
what we took for wisdom was
a fool's tale dressed in prophet's skin

in hidden kitchens acolytes brewed vats
of jealousy spiced with powder
ground from tarnished silver
in cathedrals varnished with dollar bills
locust tongues preached toxic gospel
and choirs sang the praises of butchers
wrapped in the robes of christ

the communion wine was green
but thirsty for salvation
we all drank deep from the chalice
as often as it was passed
when we were good and drunk
we scrambled up what we thought
was the ladder to paradise
as the organist mangled nearer my god to thee

we pushed and shoved our way up
in the grip of competition some fell off
screaming as they hurtled down
to what end we neither knew nor cared
Read 6 tweets
19 Oct 20
#political #poetry
retrodegradation

we were dreaming of sugarplums and other impossibles
when the wind picked up everything worth taking
and blew it all to hell and gone
left to weather without refreshment
the foundation’s varnish cracked
exposing rotted wood
martyrs
none of them carpenters
stepped forward to repair it

accompanied by the bloodless analysis
of parrots regurgitating acceptable shibboleths
they were cut down in the streets
in the dust of devastation our eyes splintered
unable to focus we feel our way through lawn and marble
wailing and conjecture
propaganda and piles of devalued coinage
Read 6 tweets
19 Oct 20
#political #poetry
Start Making Sense

As everything disintegrates
I wade through the bloody mess of life
in hip boots, looking for reason and order.
Hoping the laws of the universe can fix
what no one else can. Or will.

I just want it all – somehow – to make sense.
The eyetooth that broke as I bit into a piece of toast.
Crickets in harness.
The limousine with four flat tires parked in the alley out back.
Kids in cages.

I just want it all – somehow – to make sense.
Doors that fall off their hinges when you open them.
The year you died on my birthday.
Bodiless gloves telling off-color jokes.
Improvised morgues crammed with body bags.

I just want it all – somehow – to make sense
Read 7 tweets