@Docstockk Others have surely answered already, but I'll add to the pack. (1) Read around. A very quick Google search will reveal plenty of pages explaining that, yes, generally it does mean "I'm fine with either." Why? Well, I'll speak for myself, and give two reasons.
@Docstockk First, because "they" is a neutral pronoun. It applies to everyone. "Someone lost their wallet." "I wonder who they are." Second, because some people don't feel 100% fully comfortable with the social constructs of "a man" or "a woman" and want to express that.
@Docstockk Some people feel that being called "they" instead of he or she helps reinforce their own feeling that they are being seen as a person first, an individual, and not first and foremost as representative of a social category - man or woman.
@Docstockk (2) Just because you don't see people performing or expressing gender-nonconformity doesn't mean they don't do it. Especially in academia. Plenty of people are going to dress in a more conforming way at work, in professional contexts, even if they don't on their private time.
@Docstockk And, no one owes you, or society, anything, in terms of presentation. As others have pointed out, one can be a woman and have short hair, wear pants instead of skirts or dresses, go against stereotypical gender norms in other ways. And so just the same for anyone.
@Docstockk No one has to perform androgyny or gender-nonconforming for you or for anyone, for their identity to be real, and personally meaningful, and valid. Think of your own relationship to womanhood; others' relationship to not being a woman is similarly complex, deeply felt, and real.
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