Thread by @raiphsays

Take yer seats!! #nativerty #chrismaswaeRaiph

Zat time a yeer agen wen me an ma pals bring ye aw joy at Chrismas! A mean! Whit cin go rang? #nativerty

A dinnae kno how tae tell ye… bit Ats a uvver yeer an am no jofes!lumbert agen wae a role a innkeeper… *pits tee towel oan heid* #nativerty

a maist fotee-genic weans a aw a us, Wee Isla an wee fergus, is Mary an jofes. Er walkin a dignifiet across a stage tae a mumblin rendishin a little donkey… ers aw oo’s an ah’s fae a mammys an daddy’s… oany cos they spied a free food an swally vo.. #nativerty

It isnae ferr… er Wis nae auditions… fergus an isla goat em joabs in a vip-festive-fast-lane cos er da’s is pals wae a noo teechur… :( #nativerty

Me: *opens door tae Inn* aye?
Wee fergus: *aw big loud voice* we need a place where Mary can give birth! *aw smiles*
Me: *aw sarcastic* dis it say hostipal above ma door? Jog oan! *slams door* #nativerty

A holy cupple is noo aw staunin confused oan a stage… a noo teechur aw hisses it me an shoo’s me. Am aw shruggin an moothin’ “whit?” #nativerty

Naebdy like a noo teechur, sept a posh weans. No oany hus he goat aw favrits, he hus bought a noo prop furra #nativerty… a bran spankin shiny noo baby jeesis, ats lyin waitin in a boax backstage… a cabbish patch messiah… :(

A primary wans, waftin oot a festiv aroma a pee an shreddit slekshin boaxes, is fartin an greetin er way froo wee free kings. Wee vinny is walkin back an forf ower a stage wae a cerdboard camel… Hollywood we urnae.. #nativerty

Fergus: (jofes) *bangs inn door agen*
Me: *opens door* covid pass?
Teechur: *gies me a death glare*
Me: *rolls eyes* ers nae room.. bit ye cin use a stable roon a back.. *gestures wae ma thumb*
Fergus: *big loud voice* thank yo—
Me: *slams door in hees face* #nativerty

At shiny noo son a god is gein me a heebyjeesis… whit Wis rang wae a auld wan! Grantit, he hud nae boady an oany wan eye bit we liked him! #nativerty

Wee Vinny, saunters oan tae a stage noo dressed is a angel Gabriel. A challenge ye tae find a mehr glaikit depicshin o the bringer a good news… a’ll wait… #nativerty

Wee Demi: -a sheperd, aw shouts- how’s he wan o a free kings AN Gabriel!! Wan man, wan joab!!
Me: aye! Demarcation!! ✊ #nativerty

Mary: *heids taewards a stable*
Wee Demi: sorry hen! We’s oan strike noo! Ye cannae pass oor picket line!
Me: *hauds up a wee sign wae “nice day… furra REVOLUSHUN” oan it*
Mary: *bursts oot greetin*
Jofes: *aw runs intae stable lookin defiant* #nativerty

Am chasin fergus roon a stage noo, wallopin him ower a heid wae ma sign. A primary wans is aw huddelt, lookin pertrifiet. No affy cheerfoo, troof be telt… #nativerty

In a clear violayshin a oor workers rights, a teechur hus hucklet me an wee Demi affa stage. We Aw watchin murderussly fae a sidelines is Mary pulls a shiny noo jeesis oot fae unner her goony.. #nativerty

Me an wee Demi’s starin aw forlorny it a reel baby jeesis… jus a heid oan a stick noo.. bit wait!!
Wee Demi lifts her chin an grabs a stick end a baby jeesis! She whurls him roon her heid lick a highland hammer thrower, an fires him oan tae a stage! #nativerty

Talk aboot bein a good aim!! Hees stoated aff a teechurs heid an knocked him clean oot, bounced affa wee Vinny’s face an hus cerried oan lik a Chrismas missile miracle!! #nativerty

A holy famly dinnae know whit hit ‘em! Noo baby jeesis hus been skited intae a frunt row, an a REEL baby jeesis hus taken hees rightfoo place in a manger! #nativerty

Wae nae teechur tae stoap us, me, wee Demi an wee vinny hus come oan stage tae sing “the internationale” complete wae sleigh bells! arise ye wurkers fae yer slumbers!! #nativerty

A cannae tell ye how joyful a place is! A mammy’s an daddy’s hus aw crashed oot a complimentary mince pies an mulled wine an is singin alang! Wee vinny is cuvvert in blood fae hees run in wae a son a god but he’s no bovvert!! Joy tae a world!! #nativerty

Well Ats a teechur awa in a ambulance noo. Prolly no be back, eh? A paramedics Huv pit oan a flashin lights, tae a joy o a primary wans! We aw cheerin wen they pit a sirens oan fer us, jus lik chrismas affa telly! Hope you hud a BRILLANT time! Up the workers!! #Nativerty