Thread by @raiphsays

#chrismaswaeRaiph Zat time a yeer agen when ma wee skool, oor lady of the immaculate contraption, entertane ye wae oor #nativerty!
I meen, whit cin go rang?

Huvvin hud a starrin roll las yeer, am noo redyoust tae bein a props guy! Whit a hell!! :( jofes is playt by at snooty wee Fergus ... sake! :( #nativerty

A muvver a god hersel is playt by, (wae a fase oany a mammy cud luv), wee Demi Gorden. Nae wunner oor jeesis look lik a meltit puddin’ wae parents lik em two #nativerty

Am staunin it a side of a stage efter haunin oot prop passports tae a 3 kings. Good luk gettin froo beflehem customs, guys! #nativerty

Saprisinly, wee vinny is acshully brillant is beflehem border securatty! He’s chekt a 3 kings passports an sent em packin fur no huvvin a rite visa. No in a script, bit am aw impresst! #nativerty

Wee vinny: ats yous oot the EU noo! Ye need a visa!
Kings: ..er...we folly the star...
Wee vinny: wel ye cin folly it rite back!
Kings: *aw look it a teechur*
Wee vinny: *chases em* #nativerty 🎄

A 3 kings is wanderin aboot a stage aw bewildert. A teechurs aw hissin it wee vinny, “let em froo!!” Bit hees no huvvin it. Hees telt em tae beet it an jus staunin er sterrin em doon. #nativerty

Insted a gein a angel Gabriel hees prop star oan a stick, av geid him a mop fae oot a the boys lavvy. No bein a britess angel in a hevenly host, he husnae notist an is aw danglin it ower a vergin Mary’s heid! #nativerty

wee Demi’s aw lookin it him wae a expreshin a disgust. Weerdly enuf, ats med her look a wee bit bettar an youshal. #nativerty

Gabriel: behole! Heer a star tae gide folk tae see a king a kings! *waves mop aboot*
Teechur: *hisses* the star!! Gie him the star!!
Me: *aw shrugs an hauns Gabriel a coapy of The National* #nativerty

Wile readin hees way froo a paper, Gabriel hus drapt at stinky mop oan wee Demi’s heid. She look lik treeza may efter a visit tae Brussels. A wee bit deranged an no at aw well... #nativerty

In a spectacalar turn a events, Wee Demi hus froo up aw ower jofes. Ye’d a fot gawd wid a spared hur a mawnin sickness, bit naw. Jofes is cuvvert in whit look lik a dinner skools finess chiken nuggets an beens... #nativerty

Jeesis’s mammy an daddy hus run aff a stage screamin. Aw a mammys in a frunt row look lik eh’v goat a boak an aw. Am aw laffin, haunin oot props tae a sheperds. #nativerty

Wan a sheperds hus slipt oan a pre-luvved beens. I dinnae huv enuf cuddly sheep so a gied him a jaur a mint soss. It hus just skited aff wan a mammy’s heids. She dinnae look affy ful a festif joy, troof be telt. #nativerty

Efter a visit tae me - props guy eckstrawdinair - the littal drummar boy is noo a littal stinky bucket man! Pa-rup-a-pum-pum! #nativerty

A choir a primary wans hus jus gret an mumbelt er way froo *awa in a mangy*. At mop hus com in use agen cos a cuttla of em hus peed emsels an aw. #nativerty

Oor baby jeesis is no mush mer an a cuttla boady perts rapped in a tee towel noo bit ah’v haundit whit left a him tae wee Demi an shuvt her oan a stage. #nativerty

Wee vinnys bildin hees pert agen. Takin ad-lib tae noo hights, hees telt a holy famly tae heid tae beflehem immigrayshin servises furra residensy permit. A teechur look murderiss. #nativerty

In a cleer breech a disiplin regalayshins, a teechur hus huckelt Wee Vinny aff a stage! Hees mammys gaun mental an frettenin tae fone a coonsil. Am aw noddin in solidaratty. #nativerty

A teechur an Wee vinnys mammy is huvvin heatit wurds necks tae a terrafiet infant choir. Er aw greetin er way froo Joy tae a wurld. Joy is no a wurd a wid a youst... #nativerty

Ats a heidy try tae interveen in at impromptyou parent/teechur meetin. Wee Vinnys mammys langwish mer cullerfool an George squerr it chrismas... #nativerty

Tae add tae a celebrayshins, ats a cuttla polis com tae tek Wee Vinnys mammy awa. She hus skited wan of er hats aff, an a uvver wan hus goat hees taser oot. Wee aw gein it laldy noo wae Ding Dong Merraly oan high! :D #nativerty

Wel a hope ye enjoy at wee festiv fiasco! Am aff tae wire intae a cuttla slekshin boaxes! See yees efter! :D #nativerty #chrismaswaeraiph

An if ye like at wee bit a chrismas chaos join me oan chrismas eve furra a uvver wee livetweet! #secritSanta! :D #chrismaswaeRaiph