Thread by @mari_ness

THE SIRENS HAVE STARTED

SANTA IS COMING

AS ALWAYS SANTA SOUNDS LIKE HE IS BRINGING THE END OF THE WORLD

THE CATS HAVE FLED. THEY CANNOT TAKE SANTA. THEY CANNOT THE SOUND. THE FURY.

ALL OF THESE SIRENS

seriously, how many fire trucks are involved in this?

The people on the street have not encountered this before and want to know what's going on and if the neighborhood is on fire.

(that should have been "the new neighbors across the street who just arrived last month and were not prepared for this.")

"SOLO SANTA!" "JUST SANTA" "SOLO SANTA!"

THE COP CARS ARE HERE ESCORTING SANTA

LOUDLY

REALLY REALLY LOUDLY

The new neighbors are shouting again but I can't hear them. I suspect it's something like, "Why is the city paying for this and not, say, fixing the potholes on Bay Street?"

....ok I may be projecting.

SANTA IS HERE WITH COP CARS AND FIRE TRUCKS AND A LIT UP SLEIGH AND GOING A LOT FASTER THAN SANTA USUALLY DOES MAYBE HE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE

SANTA IS THROWING CANDY AND MOVING FAST MAYBE YES HE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE THIS HELL THAT VISITS US EVERY YEAR MAYBE IT'S A SIGN TELL ME HOW I CAN HELP YOU SANTA

The Santa sleigh is puffing smoke. Lots of smoke. It is concealing the back of the Santa sleigh (which is on a truck, for those asking). YES. HE IS TRYING TO HIDE THE FLORIDA LICENSE PLATE SO HE CAN ESCAPE

DOGS ARE HOWLING

SANTA DID NOT ESCAPE at least not in front of me. THE SIRENS CONTINUE THE FIRE TRUCKS ARE WHIRLING LIGHTS

SANTA IS NOW ON THE NEXT STREET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS STILL ON THIS ONE

WHAT DID SANTA DO TO REQUIRE THIS LEVEL OF POLICE AND FIRE PRESENCE? WHAT? WHAT I ASK YOU

I have to shout because this is very loud.

the better question is what did we, as a neighborhood, do to deserve this every single year, and why does the city keep paying to torture us?

SANTA IS NOW AT LEAST THREE STREETS AWAY AND I STILL CAN'T HEAR MYSELF TALK

THE DOGS WILL NOT STOP BARKING. THEY WILL NOT STOP THEIR DEFIANCE OF SANTA AND SANTA'S POLICE ESCORT. THEY WILL SAVE US

usually I would say GO DOGGIES GO but frankly their barking isn't helping

The sound of the sirens is finally starting to fade. Much faster this year than usual.

Perhaps Santa is afraid of lingering. Perhaps his escorts are.

It has been a half hour now, and the sounds of sirens are STILL ringing through the air.

SIRENS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING WHY ARE THESE SIRENS STILL HAPPENING

For one glorious moment, it almost sounds as if the sirens are dimming.

AND THEN THEY BLAST OUT AGAIN.

THEY WILL NOT LET SANTA ESCAPE

MORE IMPORTANTLY THEY WILL NOT LET MY EARS ESCAPE

Santa is definitely fading away, along with his police escort and fire trucks and honking and sirens.

the dogs are still terrified. the cats are still hidden. the new neighbors are still "WHAT WAS THAT?"

It will take some time for all of us to recover.

Let us all hope that at some point tonight, Santa will somehow - somehow - break free, freeing all of us from this annual horrorshow.

(sirens continue to wail in the distance)

(more honking. more sirens. more howling dogs.)

Or maybe it will never, ever end.

....I can hear the sounds of sirens and honking again.

Please tell me that Santa is not returning.

SANTA HAS RETURNED

again, city, it's not that I don't appreciate the effort to spread holiday cheer. it's that these cheerful holiday sirens have been going on for hours now trapping both me AND Santa.