Thread by @warikoo

7 lessons I learnt while growing up.

A thread...

Dad joined a company and in a year got an offer for double the salary and a car.
This was 1990! And a big deal!

He quit his job, joined the new company, which shut down in a year.
He was without a job for 2 years.
Mom and dad did odd jobs to keep the home running.

Every smart person continued to ridicule dad for taking that call.
But my dad insisted that he would have still taken the call. There was no way to know!

He could have very well succeeded and heralded a hero.

Lesson 1:
Risk and failure is not absolute.
It is a state of mind.

I was a PhD student in the US, on a 100% scholarship, top of my class, on a fast track to complete my research.

And I quit that, came back to India to restart my life all over again, at the age of 24.

My parents were devastated.
They had pinned their hopes on me.

I was angry that they didn't understand.

Until it dawned upon me.
They wanted the same things from my life, that I wanted from mine.
But their experiences had shaped up their reactions.

Lesson 2:
Everyone's life experiences shapes them up to see the world the way they do.

My sister and I every night used to play this fun game.
One would pretend to be dead, and the other person had to crack jokes to make them "come alive".
We called it "aaaa main marr gaya" (I am dead!)

The more we played, the better we got at making people "come alive".

Until we grew up and stopped playing.
We forgot about the game.
But our mind hadn't.

We knew how to "come alive" after dropping dead.

Lesson 3:
The games we played as kids, form our habits as adults.
But only if we realize this.

The biggest event in school was the Class12th farewell, organized by Class 11 students.
Close to the last day, one of the 2 kids selected as the host of the event fell sick.
And my class teacher insisted that I fill in for him.

I was terrified of the stage.
My first experience had been a disaster.

"You are going to be awesome. You have it in you. You just don't know it as yet.", she said.

Lesson 4:
Sometimes all it takes for you to believe in yourself, is for someone else to believe in you.

Stephen Hawking was to visit India and give a talk in Delhi.
It was a BIG DEAL for me, as someone who loved his work.
The event was free.

However, since it was marketed massively, everyone wanted to come. And passes to the event were quickly over.

I was mad!

"I deserve to go. Not them."

Then a friend said, "there is a link, where you can fill in your details. It is reserved for science students."
I filled it.
And got a pass!

Lesson 5:
You don't deserve anything in life.
Entitlement is a trap!

Studying in an all-boys school, I was surrounded by Hindi expletives.
I started to use them as well.
Every sentence was preceded/followed by a whole host of bc/mc/chu words.

One day, unaware of my surroundings, I expressed anger at my friend by calling him "behenc***"

Our sports instructor heard it.
"Do you have a sister?", he asked.
"yes sir, I do"
"You just abused her!"

That was the last day I abused anyone.

Lesson 6:
Words have meaning.
They carry weight.
The ones you chose, travel a lot further than you think.

I was to leave for the US in a month.
It had been an expensive affair - paying for the exams, visa, books.
We were completely out of money.

And I needed overcoats.
Michigan is a really cold place.
No one we knew had spare overcoats.
Heck, no one even wore them in India :)

Dad figured a place in Old Delhi that sells used overcoats.
Took the bus.
The old man was selling them for Rs.400/pc
We were overjoyed!
We had budgeted Rs.1000
Bought 2 overcoats.
Spent Rs.50 on Kulfi Faluda to celebrate :)

Lesson 7:
Most wonderful memories do not cost money.

Our childhood shapes us up in ways we do not fully understand until much later.

The lessons I shared today were not obvious to me until recently. But the day they were, I was thankful for them.

Because I didn't go out seeking these lessons.
They happened!

I believe that is how life is.
Most lessons happen to us.
Should we care to learn.

The trick then is to live a life where you are setting yourself up for as many varied experiences as possible.
And to take the time to reflect as each day passes by.

I am an eternal optimist, shaped by the belief that in every obstacle there is a lesson, in every setback there is a takeaway, in every failure there is an opportunity to reflect.

While I have shared 7 lessons, I live with hundreds more.
I experience them everyday!

Through this thread, I would invite you to write your own.
For yourself, not anyone else.

Take a moment to think of your childhood.
And through all the ups and downs, what shaped you up.
And how?

That may be the best gift you can give yourself.
And the best tribute to the years gone by.

Every Friday, I write a thread on failure, life lessons, personal growth. You can follow me on @warikoo to get them on your feed.

My first book "DO EPIC SHIT" is out, where I share a lot of these lessons. You can pre-order it on Amazon
amzn.to/3lMhJf9

Here is the unrolled version of this thread
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And here is the first tweet of the thread, for you to go back to and like/retweet if you wish to :)

https://twitter.com/warikoo/status/1471762093292470281