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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

24 Dec

Maybe I am old school but I would like it if my woman joined my mother & sisters in the food preparation process. The same way I would join her father & brothers in erecting the tent. It's not the act, it's the symbolism. Europeans call it gender roles; we call it community.

We do that which brings us together. Each man according to his ability. The men with their muscles carry logs. The women with their grace bless the hearth. When Europeans look at it, all they see is the labor. But for the African people, it is about love and kinship.

Love is labor. Love is sacrifice. Achebe says, "when we gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so". When we love, we work for it. And to keep it.

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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

20 Nov

I died in my dream last night. The brakes jammed, the uber driver panicked, & a bus rammed into us; pushing us down the cliff. You could hear noise everywhere as the car rolled. It was dark except for the intermittent patches of light seeping through the shattering windows...

I was afraid. I had not anticipated it. I thought to myself, "Maybe if I could reach the door, I might live". Yet, I couldn't be bothered to move. It was hopeless. I reached for my seat belt, but even that was hopeless. It was too far off. I sat still and made peace with death.

I thought about life... about nature. I would miss the sky. I always loved its blue. I would miss the wind and trees, and rivers: in those I found hope... in those I mended. I thought about people and the beauty of hope. I wondered where I might fall: in heaven or hell.

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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

11 Oct

Can you marry alone? Please! Marry your wife, or husband alone! We have demanding things to attend to: school fees, our parents' welfare, rent, medical fund drives, police bribes. Overbearing tax. Please, if you are my friend, marry your wife alone! A wedding is not an emergency!

You find yourself in 5 wedding groups, all in December, all asking for contributions: is wedding a heart attack? Didn't you know you were going to wed in December? Must you wed? In fact, come-we-stay has been scientifically proven to last longer. Don't play with people, bwana!

We will start beating you! Marry alone. If you cannot afford a wedding, go to the AG, marry that man, or woman. Si you love them so much...

Then it it will be, "fake friends, fake friends", is a wedding a heart attack? You've never eaten cake?

We will start beating you!

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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

9 Oct

My favorite writers didn't come within an inch of the Nobel prize. Mark Twain didn't. In fact, Charles Dickens won no awards at all. Yet, they shaped my world view. Taught me to believe. To be kind. To dream. Art's true ovation is not in awards, or "spaces". It is in inspiration.

True art does not seek praise. Or recognition. Or notoriety. It just is. Any acclaim is welcome, but not demanded.

As for me, should a kid read my work, a decade after my death, & say to himself, "because you lived I will work harder, be kinder". It's all the award I need.

All I am saying is, art's excellence is not determined by the "spaces" it is allowed. Maugham & Kafka taught me as much. You must believe that you are the best: in ovation, & in its absence. Spaces are limiting. They are seals of approval. On how well you met expectations.

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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

9 Oct

Why black men shut you out in turmoil:

1. You weaponize their low moments/truths.
2. You made it clear that struggle (particularly financial) is a weakness.
3. Social conditioning (negligible)
4. Women subscribe to emotion-focused coping, men to problem-focused coping.

If it were 2 or 3 men saying this, your counter arguments would hold. This is the entire earth of black men, telling you... that you are doing something wrong.

It's simple maths, men experiment with little truths earlier on: if this is not met with calm optimism, they adjust.

In social issues, we have the positivists & the normativists. I have found most women to be in the latter, possibly why revolution, of any kind, & ethics as a demand, must be inspired by them. Men deal with the world as is, not as it ought to be. That's how they approach problems

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T. R. Okuna

@XivTroy

28 Sep

I used to talk to people in buses. I don't anymore. See, one time, when I was heading home, I sat next to an old guy in a matatu. Old guy looked alright, soft-spoken, had a receding hairline so you know I'm thinking, "lots of wisdom here." The devil had been trying me lately...

And I kind if needed someone to talk to. So we struck a conversation. He tells me his name is Jethro...I say my name. We do small talk, "government this, government that...global warming", I am impressed by his depth. I figure I might as well open up to Jethro for advise...

So I tell him that my wife had been beating me. The last time she sat on my neck & almost broke it. He says looking at my potbelly, " has she seen the size of your neck? There was a whole belly she could have sat on". I exclaim "You know!! ". I lean on his shoulder & start crying

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