Can you marry alone? Please! Marry your wife, or husband alone! We have demanding things to attend to: school fees, our parents' welfare, rent, medical fund drives, police bribes. Overbearing tax. Please, if you are my friend, marry your wife alone! A wedding is not an emergency!
You find yourself in 5 wedding groups, all in December, all asking for contributions: is wedding a heart attack? Didn't you know you were going to wed in December? Must you wed? In fact, come-we-stay has been scientifically proven to last longer. Don't play with people, bwana!
We will start beating you! Marry alone. If you cannot afford a wedding, go to the AG, marry that man, or woman. Si you love them so much...

Then it it will be, "fake friends, fake friends", is a wedding a heart attack? You've never eaten cake?

We will start beating you!
If people wish to contribute, let it be unsolicited. Weddings are personal affairs, we can only come in as willing spectators.

You are killing friendships to prove a point to people who don't care.
Hide from police, hide from kanjo, hide from the bank, hide from school principals, hide from the landlord, then now I must also hide from you?! You think we were born to hide...marry your wife,or husband, alone!

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More from @XivTroy

9 Oct
My favorite writers didn't come within an inch of the Nobel prize. Mark Twain didn't. In fact, Charles Dickens won no awards at all. Yet, they shaped my world view. Taught me to believe. To be kind. To dream. Art's true ovation is not in awards, or "spaces". It is in inspiration.
True art does not seek praise. Or recognition. Or notoriety. It just is. Any acclaim is welcome, but not demanded.

As for me, should a kid read my work, a decade after my death, & say to himself, "because you lived I will work harder, be kinder". It's all the award I need.
All I am saying is, art's excellence is not determined by the "spaces" it is allowed. Maugham & Kafka taught me as much. You must believe that you are the best: in ovation, & in its absence. Spaces are limiting. They are seals of approval. On how well you met expectations.
Read 4 tweets
9 Oct
Why black men shut you out in turmoil:

1. You weaponize their low moments/truths.
2. You made it clear that struggle (particularly financial) is a weakness.
3. Social conditioning (negligible)
4. Women subscribe to emotion-focused coping, men to problem-focused coping.
If it were 2 or 3 men saying this, your counter arguments would hold. This is the entire earth of black men, telling you... that you are doing something wrong.

It's simple maths, men experiment with little truths earlier on: if this is not met with calm optimism, they adjust.
In social issues, we have the positivists & the normativists. I have found most women to be in the latter, possibly why revolution, of any kind, & ethics as a demand, must be inspired by them. Men deal with the world as is, not as it ought to be. That's how they approach problems
Read 4 tweets
28 Sep
I used to talk to people in buses. I don't anymore. See, one time, when I was heading home, I sat next to an old guy in a matatu. Old guy looked alright, soft-spoken, had a receding hairline so you know I'm thinking, "lots of wisdom here." The devil had been trying me lately...
And I kind if needed someone to talk to. So we struck a conversation. He tells me his name is Jethro...I say my name. We do small talk, "government this, government that...global warming", I am impressed by his depth. I figure I might as well open up to Jethro for advise...
So I tell him that my wife had been beating me. The last time she sat on my neck & almost broke it. He says looking at my potbelly, " has she seen the size of your neck? There was a whole belly she could have sat on". I exclaim "You know!! ". I lean on his shoulder & start crying
Read 14 tweets
12 Sep
This one time I was living with my girlfriend & dog. Our relationship had thawed coz her parents were nagging: "Oh goat swallowed a salamander"... Oh! the cows needed more salt". I was tired of their ass! If a cow was old enough to demand salt, it was old enough to work for it.
She would take it out on my poor dog. Saying he is big-headed & eats too much. I said, the dog was eating just fine. It's her parents' cows that had the tastebuds of a dinosaur. Things were not good. Then by some chance, we got a new neighbor, Opija.
Opija was a chill dude. Lots of English, colorful clothes but generally cool dude. Now, his woman on the other hand was a b*tch. She wouldn't deign to greet back, would litter our shared verandah & complain that our apartment stank ass. I mean, she wasn't lying but come on...
Read 18 tweets
2 Sep
I stopped going anywhere with Ochi because the fool once stopped to hit on a policewoman with expired insurance. Back then there was a roadblock right after Mau Summit on your way to Londiani. I ate watery cabbage & porridge in a cell. We had not even been flagged down!
We were delivering some stationery to Busia. Ochi says we should start early. He has a sticker in his car, reads: "bro's before hoes!". He puts on some gospel. "When Jesus says Yes, nobody can say no!" I am thinking, this fool has really changed.
I try to put on the seatbelt, he looks at me, says mirthfully that I need to ease up: "what are you afraid of?" I didn't like his tone. Made me look like a bitch. And I am no bitch. So I ease up. No seatbelt. Gospel flowing. Good times.
Read 17 tweets
2 Sep
It's always the married men warning young boys to stay away from married women when they relentlessly chew these young boy's girlfriends & sisters. Can't have your cake & eat it. Contract is with your wife. She can think. If she can't, why did you pick a bread for a wife?
And why a man would kill another man over a woman, I do not understand for the life of me. Don't people have lives outside women? Friends? Career? Business? School? Lose all that? Because of a pricked ego? Too fragile a masculinity, something will always prick it.
I mean, these boys are your sons. They see what you do. They learn from it. And since your women are accessible, they do what you do. You prey on young girls because they are easily accessible, they prey on your wives. I'd say that's a fair game.
Read 6 tweets

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