Share this page!

Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
Twitter logo
24 Dec, 6 tweets, 2 min read
When a small grain of sand gets into an oyster, it can turn into a beautiful pearl.

THIS is how I want you to think about helping a family member OUT of an extreme belief.

If you are able to successfully empower a new thought, it can develop into something beautiful!

But...
This CAN'T be done by FORCE. You can't yell or tell them they're stupid or tell them to read an article that contradicts their worldview. Do this with love, respect, & patience.

Do not allow yourself to be abused or bullied. Stay resourceful.

Ask questions.

And Eventually..
A new thought, like a grain of sand, can get inside and develop into a beautiful pearl (their true identity!).

When I was in a cult, this is what happened to me. My deprogrammers asked me questions. Nothing penetrated consciously until the last day of my deprogramming.
They didn't yell at me, they simply shared information about Chinese brainwashing. They asked me my opinion about a speech Moon gave. Finally, something changed inside...

It was a speech by my cult leader about Americans.
In this public quote, my cult leader was praising Americans. But this totally flummoxed me!

In leadership meetings, I had heard him say many times how STUPID Americans were.

This simple contradiction shattered everything. The real Steve soon came back.
This holiday, work to impart a small grain of sand. It will only work with rapport, love, and connection.

For some step-by-step tips, this blog about interacting with family around the holidays should be helpful. 🙏freedomofmind.com/help-a-family-…

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Steven Hassan, PhD

Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @CultExpert

Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
20 Dec
Many of us feel POWERLESSNESS when we hear depressing political news. Many also want to know "how can I get involved?"

Here's how you do it:

Think globally, act locally.
Why not help de-radicalize someone you know and care about? Rather than just cut someone out of your life, if you have the bandwidth, and learn what is effective, you could put in a few hours each week into the effort.
In this thread, I will link to a few other threads and blogs I've composed that outline my Strategic Interactive Approach (SIA). This is the approach I've applied for the last 45+ years in helping people out of cults and conspiracy thinking!

freedomofmind.com/help-a-family-…
Read 7 tweets
Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
17 Dec
There's been a great deal of talk about expanding the Supreme Court and entirely NOT enough talk about impeaching Amy Coney Barrett.

First, this is not a "Republicans bad, Democrats good!" appeal. I often disagree with Clarence Thomas but I would NOT call for his impeachment.
This is about Amy Coney Barrett's DEEPLY troubling affiliation with the destructive group "People of Praise."

The People of Praise (POP) are not a conventional religion. The POP displays many cult-like attributes.

Here's a brief summary of the People of Praise:
The People of Praise reportedly require a lifetime covenant commitment, require wives & children to be submissive to husbands, promote fear of losing God’s grace, allow & even encourage corporal punishment of children & wives, engage in forced exorcisms, & shun former members.
Read 10 tweets
Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
16 Dec
Many of you are familiar with my BITE Model (as a reminder, BITE stands for):

Behavior Control
Information Control
Thought Control
Emotional Control

The BITE model outlines the specific set of methods and techniques that can influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts.
I've come to understand that Information Control is one of the most POTENT parts of my BITE model and there are few groups who've been controlled through information more than Indigenous people.

Indigenous kids were forced into schools and required to assimilate.
Our very own Declaration of Independence-our most FOUNDATIONAL document-refers to Indigenous people as "merciless Indian savages."
Read 4 tweets
Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
14 Dec
Though he is so often misquoted by insincere politicians, Martin Luther King Jr. really FULLY embodied the approach I teach.

King DIDN'T turn his head to injustice. He confronted it HEAD ON, but he did so with love and compassion.

Just look at his Six Principles of Nonviolence:
Read 8 tweets
Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
13 Dec
Whenever I talk about my patient, kind approach for getting people out of cults and extreme beliefs, there is always a small group of people that get mad at me. They tell me how TOXIC a family member or person has been and that they needed to cut them off for their own sanity!
As always my friends, this is your own life. 🙏 It is not my intention to tell you you're "wrong." Do as you wish.

I've been doing this for 45+ years though, and never once was anger or confrontation or isolation helpful (and I've worked with the most EXTREME of the extreme!).
Perhaps, if it is too painful, those of us who DO have the bandwidth to have conversations with family or estranged friends from high school can be the ones who step up!

I can report one refreshing, encouraging aspect of this approach though:
Read 4 tweets
Steven Hassan, PhD Profile picture
13 Dec
The antidote to helping friends and loved ones OUT of extreme belief feels counterintuitive to most.

When we hear a hateful extreme belief expressed, the NATURAL reaction is to respond with anger and condemnation!

But unfortunately, this approach just doesn't work.
When we throw our anger at someone, though it may feel justified and warranted, it drives that person FURTHER into their extreme belief.

Here's one quick story from my life...

When I was in the Moonie cult, we were ordered to SELL items for the cult (flowers, candy, etc.).
Often while doing this, people would yell things at me (sometimes they'd even throw beer cans at me). When this happened, it drove me DEEPER into the cult. After all, the cult taught us that we were the persecuted ones & these outbursts of anger toward us VALIDATED this!

But...
Read 9 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @CultExpert has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @CultExpert!

Read all threads by @CultExpert

:(