Thread by @WindyCityWxMan

T’was the Night Before #Christmas
#ChicagoScanner 2021 version:

Twas the night before Christmas in the City of Big Shoulders
#Chicago was lively, people felt bolder
The vaxxes were jabbed in sore arms with much flair
In hopes that the COVID would not venture there

The shoppers came back with snug fitting masks
Buying more stuff for their stay at home tasks
The year had been different but somehow the same
Stores were reopened and the people they came
But out in the streets the bullets still flew
And again Downtown saw lights flashing blue

But “all hands on deck” with their hands in the air
Was all that was heard from City Hall fare
Hours have been long and shifts back to back
Shootings and lootings and look! a car jack
That’s been the grind for months in a row
Cuz we lock ’em up and Foxx let’s ‘em go

So out on patrol in my janky old ride
Manpower’s low, so no partner beside
Alone in my squad in my Kevlar and blues
Watching the drunks full of holiday booze
When in comes a call a few blocks away
Strange noise on the roof the caller did say

I head o’er that way and I’m going in blind
Raccoon in the attic I expected I’d find
I rolled down the street looked up through the trees
Came to the house, what I saw made me freeze
Up on the roof an old man dressed in red
And then off the roof no clue where he fled

I called for backup but we’re in a RAP
That’s a normal Friday night or some sorta crap
I walked to the house shined my lite at the roof
Saw a flash past a window and there’s that old goof
He broke in the house like he’s done it before
I see him inside just a blur ‘cross the floor

“Squad get more cars he got inside”
I see him just standing not tryin to hide
By the fireplace he’s waving ‘n he winks his eye
He’s back on the roof ol’ guy sure is sly
I yelled “stay right there! keep your hands in plain view”
He laughed ‘n he whistled like he’s calling his crew

Sarge had pulled up, more cars I could hear
Yet red dressed up guy showing nothin but cheer
He laughed between whistles and kept calling out
For his ride now hovering, detaining him in doubt
A team of eight drones with a red Audi in tow
Was all that he needed to load up and go

More cars were on scene, we see this guy dash
Dude’s wanted for break-ins, can’t chase, might crash
He’s up in the air stopping here stopping there
No one can catch him so Troy-1 takes the air
Chopper above he’s got all the cool gear
But Audi and drones move too fast to stay near

He zips thru the city hits all of the streets
Crosses thru Zones and districts and beats
Yet no apprehension, he got away clean
But at every home we’ve found the same scene
Nothing was missing and strangely enough
Good citizens got piles of new clothes, toys, and stuff

Back in the squad with a big 19-Paul
I hear a low noise that’s starting out small
An alarm, I hear ringing, a dream ends I awake
A dream of a Christmas, seemed real, not a fake
For stacked at my house my gifts in a pile
That old man in red has been real all the while

#MerryChristmas to those keeping the watch this wonderful night and to the whole #ChicagoScanner gang!