Thread by @Nick_Carmody

After a Christmas road trip into the mountains fell apart ....my daughter and I spent our Christmas morning with/feeding the homeless.

Some thoughts/observations on the experience, and the homeless problem, in general. 1/

Some context…..

When I told my daughter that the trip that had been planned for months wasn’t going to happen, her suggestion to give food to the homeless turned into a Christmas day project with a goal to feed 70 homeless people in Downtown Denver. 2/

Shopping for the supplies was a bonding experience….with her laughing frequently at people quizzically looking at us pushing multiple carts overflowing with bottled water, loaves of bread, cheese, candy canes, sandwich meats, bananas, etc. 3/

The preparation on Christmas morning provided another bonding experience as we laid out a 5 step assembly line-like process of sandwich preparation (bread, application of mayo, cheese, meat, bread), bagging each sandwich, writing “Merry Christmas" on each paper bag,…4/

….and filling each paper bag with a sandwich/banana/candy cane…..and loading the bags into crates to transport.

We ended up with 66 meals that we initially used a small shopping cart to distribute near my building, and then drove around the city in my vehicle.
5/

Some observations:

- We were struck by how, at times, we found ourselves hesitant to offer food to some people because we weren’t sure if they were homeless, and didn’t want to offend someone who wasn’t homeless with the offer.

We quickly realized once they spoke,...6/

....that the condition of their teeth was often more indicative of them being homeless than even their clothes/appearance.

- At other times we found ourselves assessing whether someone was “homeless enough” because we wanted to give the food to those who needed it the most. 7/

- A guy with weathered skin, long dark hair, & who had to hold up his over sized pants with one hand...refused the food, even as he looked in a garbage can before I offered, and found and ate a piece of pizza found in another garbage can a few seconds after I offered. 8/

- A guy in his 50’s with long dark hair refused the food, even as four guys he was sitting with accepted it.

The guy generously told me “to give it to someone who needs it more than me”. Incredible.

9/

- A guy in his 60’s attempted to say thank you, but started crying and couldn’t get words out. He seemed unable to grasp the emotional swing from sadness/isolation/hunger on Christmas…..to disbelief of the random gift.

I had to go back to the car to give him a second bag. 10/

- Many of the people seemed unable to speak….some possibly because stroke (facial paralysis)…..some, like the guy above, struggling with the experience of usually being ignored or looked through/past,...but now being sought out and engaged, and given a gift. 11/

- As we drove past one of the main shelters, tattered tents lined the streets, and there was garbage everywhere. It literally looked a war zone. There are surely even worse human experiences/conditions, but it was hard to imagine one at that moment.....12/

...I lived only a few blocks from this shelter last year…..and I often found myself simultaneously experiencing two seemingly competing emotions/thoughts:

1) That human language cannot describe the sadness/empathy I feel for them,… 13/

...and also realizing that but for a few breaks that went my way (brain injury rehab/depression/financial), I could be them (in 2014, I was two weeks away from living out of my car)....and realizing that some of the kids I've worked with as a therapist will end up homeless... 14/

….while, 2) also being terrified of my 11 year old daughter getting dragged into one of those tents while walking to/from school….& being pissed off that the city does not manage the situation better.

This is something I wrote last year describing an experience she had: 15/

- (circling back to Christmas/feeding the homeless)...I tried to envision the turning point in their life that resulted in them being homeless.

Was it something specific?

I tried to envision them years earlier as a child/student, as an employee, as a spouse, as a soldier. 16/

- Several men saluted me with a very crisp salute. All I could think of was the statistic of 22 vets committing suicide each day……and how wrong/unjust it is that so many people who served this country, and who were broken by that service….end up disposable and discarded. 17/

- I also saw a lot of addiction.

A lot.

Many were literally using heroin as I handed them the food (my daughter was in the car). I had to fight the urge to avoid giving them food b/c the addiction made them seem “less deserving” than the man mentioned above who cried. 18/

- The homeless/addiction aspect is something I’ve struggled with for years (and I caveat this: I'm someone who engaged in heavy drug use for many years, and had friends whose weddings I stood up in as a groomsman....who died from heroin/cocaine overdoses): 19/

Part of me, like many people, feels reluctant to give money to the homeless because “they'll just use it to buy drugs/alcohol”.

But there’s also a part of me that thinks that hunger is just one aspect of their overall misery... 20/

...And even if they use the money for food, even though it may alleviate one aspect (hunger) of their misery for a few hours, it doesn’t alleviate the misery of their physical injuries/pain (I've literally seen a guy who either had his nose cut off or cut it off himself),.. 21/

...their open sores (I've seen unbelievably painful open wounds, fingers literally fused/healing together),...

...their throbbing tooth aches, their painfully cold/numb extremities, & just the general misery/physical discomfort/rashes/chafing of not showering for months... 22/

But, on the other hand, if they buy drugs/alcohol with the money, are they able to escape ALL of their misery for 12 hours? 24 hours? or more?

From a strictly logical standpoint, I'm giving them money to alleviate their suffering....23/

....and if it was me, I probably would prefer to have all of my suffering alleviated for a whole day, than just one aspect of my suffering (hunger) alleviated for a few hours.

But endorsing/condoning addiction sure doesn't feel like the answer either. 24/

I don't know what the answer to the homeless problem is. The solution is surely as complex as the causes (addiction, mental illness, financial/housing policies, etc.).

But what I do know, and see, is that we are in a bad place as a country. 25/

Somewhat relevant thread:

https://twitter.com/Nick_Carmody/status/1205854806272696320

Thread analyzing vets:

https://twitter.com/Nick_Carmody/status/1472222397860175875

Somewhat expanded article version of this thread (no paywall): patreon.com/posts/60339063

Expanded article version of this thread (no paywall): patreon.com/posts/60339063

Since the homelessness thread has had such an impact, I'll attach this story. There is quite a bit o overlap to the homelessness thread/issue, trauma, adversity, resiliency, and my daughter:

patreon.com/posts/rebuildi…

If you've been following the comments to this thread early on, you may have come across this story about Covid-related homelessness and abuse. Please read her story, and if you're able to, contribute:

gofundme.com/f/chandlers-ch…