This is so interesting. I generally enjoy (I think?) being a woman—except for the pay gap, and the shittier healthcare—but a thing that is frustrating is that you’re so socialized to repress frustration because you get punished for any overt display of anger…
https://twitter.com/e_urq/status/1476632259516145666
And then something happens that’s the last straw, but it’s minor, and you burst into tears. And it doesn’t reflect how you actually feel about it—probably not that mad—but it just comes out because you’re taught not to let it out the way men do.
Probably 98 out of the last hundred times I’ve cried, i wasn’t sad; I was pissed off. And then I was pissed off at myself for crying, which is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to convey.
I think some of it is physiological and some of it is socialized. So interesting to hear from a trans guy who’s experienced it and then sees a difference on T.
Also maybe similar: my 6 year old gets pissed at himself when he’s crying and he’s no longer really upset and wants to stop. He literally says I’m not sad anymore but I’m still crying! And I get you, buddy.
Though I do emphasize to him that it’s ok to just get it out. Which increasingly he understands and it makes him less distressed. We’re both temperamentally not that demonstrative and it pisses us both off not to be able to control it.
At one point I wanted to write about this and was looking for scientific research around crying as a physiological response. Couldn’t find much. If you’ve seen anything interesting would love to read it.
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