When we get hurt by someone we know is acting out from pain or trauma, there is a confusing moment where you want to help but we also aren’t sure what to do. We don’t want to respond with similar behavior. So what works for me in those moments is to generate compassion for myself
I don’t have to lash out, I don’t have try to hold them accountable in that moment(that may come later), I don’t have to try to fix them or the situation. I just have to resource into myself with my own love, compassion, healing energy, self validation and self respect.
Many of us were trained to do the opposite of this so this can take some time to learn. Practice and consistency helps tremendously. Over time you just start to learn how quickly you can heal yourself in moments that in the past would have lingered or hurt for much longer.
Some people may say why should I have to heal myself, I’m the victim here. So again, i’m sharing what actually works for me. Not something I just read in a book. If it resonates, say hello to the feelings of unfairness, clear the resistance and give it a try and see for yourself.
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