Thread by @MattCarr55

Downing Street’s tactical decision to hide Bertie Booster in the fridge in order to stop the negative headlines is hilariously backfiring.

1) They try to spin a spy story on Labour only for it to be revealed that Johnson took £45,000 from her and didn’t declare it! Also…

It turns out that Cameron and May also cultivated the same source, and the story is in any case at least five years old. As devastating counter-attacks go, this is like being assaulted by hamsters nibbling at the toes of the person who sent them.

Meanwhile…

2)The parties keep coming. Friday night piss ups at Downing Street. A special fridge bought, not for Bertie to hide in, but to keep that wine chilled for the big chillax…Who knew Tories liked to party 🎉 like this. Gives the term ‘Tory Party’ a new meta meaning. And…

3) What is going on behind the scenes? An operation to sack and punish advisers and juniors for these parties - an operation that Bertie himself has called OPERATION BIG DOG!!!!

Seriously guys, did you want that in the papers? Do you know how awful that looks?

I’m assuming that the answer to the first question is no, and yes to the second. And yet it was leaked. Because nowadays everything is, because the Downing Street operation is so deliriously, jaw droppingly fucked. Which brings us to…

4) According to Politics Home, Downing Street staff are feeling ‘dejected’ by their boss’s response to partygate. Or should I say feeling abandoned? And who can blame them?

politicshome.com/news/article/d…

So it turns out Big Dog May not have that many people willing to put their heads on the rails for him, except Michael Fabricant, who doesn’t count. I mean if you have him as your most visible defendant, you really don’t have a defence at all. Especially when…

5)The Scottish Tories, recently dissed by the imbecilic cash-in-the-attic altar boy Jacob Rees-Mogg, are now reportedly plotting to set up a new centre-right party, which means a Tory split! And while the Dulux dog skulks in whatever gilded kennel he has crawled into…

6) Starmer is now stepping up with positive proposals, calling for Bertie’s resignation, and looking very much like a leader-in-waiting.

All this, and it’s only Saturday. So time for Bertie to seek a new comms team, though almost certainly too late for that. Because sometimes

karma is like a Big Dog that bites you where you least expect and holds on until there’s nothing you can spin, nothing you can do, but suck up all the disgrace and ignominy you deserve, jump into the political toilet, and wait for history to pull the chain.

#LiarJohnson