Thread by @GbengaWemimo

Some people simply dont know how to love, of course, they think they do and they act as if they do but deep down, they really don't
They love themselves too much to really love or give themselves to another
Whoever they are with is only good enough as long as they can still get

something out of such a person
Be it friend, relative, lover or wife
What they can get determine the depth of the friendship and as soon as they cannot get anything out of the person again, the relationship is dead
They are more of users and abusers
His father was one of such

people
His grandmother too (His Father's mother)
The pattern had been on over and over again since he was a child
He saw the way his father treated his mother (A loving, gentle and caring) woman
He walked all over her and eventually walked out of the marriage when he met a rich

widow who inherited a ton of money after the demise of her husband
His father moved out of their flat
He moved in with this woman and began to fleece her until she was broke
Eventually, his father migrated to the United Kingdom with the woman but as soon as he got a job and was

established in the UK, he dumped the woman and latched on to another lady
A German national who was earning very well as a computer analyst
At first, he thought his father was a victim of a family curse but as he grew older, he realized his father was not a victim
He was having a

drive with his father one day when his father said "Don't marry anybody for long unless the person is as rich as the sea. Once they run out of money or value, walk out. If you don't walk out, you will get walked out on"
It was not just the words bu the way his father said it

He told himself he wouldn't turn out that way.
His father was quite a handsome man and he looked soft and caring on the outside. This was how he disarmed his victims.
He had inherited his father's good looks and soft voice, but he was determined to do better
He was determined to

love any woman he ends up getting married to
It was a solemn vow he made from his heart and for that reason he kept away from fickle relationships and flings until he was ready
He got married in 2011, on a rainy Saturday morning. His wife came from a broken home, like him, and

they both swore to be true to each other
Three months after they got married, his wife got a visa and fully funded scholarship abroad
She had been pursuing the opportunity before they met and they both knew if she got it, she would be going to the UK to study
He applied for a

visa to the UK too
(Money was not an issue)
He had his biometrics and waited patiently for his visa to be approved
His wife left in October that same year, one month after she got the visa
The plan was for him to visit as often as possible with his six months visa until he got a

two-year visa and so on
She left on a Wednesday
Eighteen days after his wife left, he got a mail from a foreign account
He opened it and he saw a video of his wife and a man having sex
It was sent to him by the man's wife
The woman was fighting for her home and his wife was

designated the "homewrecker"
The video ruined his day
Later that day, his wife called at about 11pm just to check on him
He had noticed a change in her attitude after the first week of her departure but he felt she was going through registration and other stuff in school
He had

no idea she could jump into bed with another man so quickly
He picked her call and she started asking him how his day was and all
He was determined not to tell her but the hypocrisy was galling
At a point, he couldn't take it anymore and he screamed at her to shut up
He told her

everything
She began to stammer
She said she couldn't explain what happened or how it happened
One minute she met this Nigerian professor who walked up to her and introduced himself
The next she was in his office and his touch just melted her to the bone
She started to cry and to

apologize
Their marriage was not even six months old yet, all he could do was cry
She began to talk about getting help, therapy, temptation, the devil, begging him to stop crying and let it go. She even said she used protection except for that first time when scattered in the

professor's office
As if that information was any consolation
He cried for weeks and she called everyday asking that they pray together over the phone in the morning before setting out and that they catch up in the evening everyday
He followed the motions but the tears kept

flowing
He got another mail, this time from the embassy, his visa had been approved
He was about to call her and give her the good news when he saw another mail
His wife and the professor again, with a date stamp on the video establishing that the sex happened that day
The note

said "I have left him for her, I am tired of fighting"
He didn't bother to reply
He didn't pick her calls that day
He had been waiting for the visa, his bag was packed, so he bought his ticket and traveled to the UK two days later
At first he wanted to confront her but the UK is

not Nigeria
He decided to visit his father and other relatives and pretended all was well at the home front
Eventually, his wife realized he was in the UK and came calling
She asked him why he was acting weird after they had settled the rift
He told her he wanted a divorce
He had

played the fool for just enough
He didn't even tell her anything about the second video
Her attitude and demeanor was all "Snap out of it, what is the big deal" and it was irritating especially because he knew she was still cheating
She tried to persuade him but it was water off

a duck's back
He returned to Nigeria and closed that chapter
It was then he discovered that being a divorcee is a stigma of sort
Most ladies avoided getting into anything serious with him and he was never the type to just sleep around
He met another lady in 2014, she came to his

office to market her business
She was into building materials
They became friends and started seeing each other socially after a while
He introduced her to some of his colleagues (He was working with a cement manufacturing company)
Talks got serious and he began to dream of

getting married again
Then he got to the office one Monday morning and found everyone whispering and looking at him somehow
He had no idea what was going on
By noon that day, their MD announced that they had employed a manager for their office in Lekki
The staff was his babe
She

had stayed with him long enough to meet someone who could give her a dream job at his company
She said nothing to him about her plans or ambition
She called him
She picked and sounded so enthusiastic about her new job
He congratulated her and didn't bother proceeding with the

relationship
He remembered the day he introduced her to the MD during their end of the year party
He had been used!
Period.
His father's words proved right in an odd way, Mr. Nice always got dumped
It was like a dagger was plunged deep into his heart
He gave up on love that day!

PS: He eventually got married in 2017
He didn't marry for love
He has two children
His wife said she is more or less a stranger in the marriage
She wanted him to love and be open with her
He laughs such childishness off
He says he is responsible
She should be satisfied with that

@threadreaderapp unroll