Thread by @QuinnyPig

Microsoft met or beat expectations, so of course they're down 5% in after hours trading. Let's see what @satyanadella has to say on the earnings call...

Talks about Azure providing a "distributed computing fabric" in the context that that's something every company is going to need. That rings true. I don't know as any cloud provider has realized a vision of that that resonates yet.

Talking about @LinkedIn in a few contexts, none of them highlighting that they're the only non-ad driven social network.

Apparently as of a few months ago Windows goes to 11 now. Huh.

$10 billion a year in advertising revenue now. Oh, right; Windows now has embedded ads in it, doesn't it?

I maintain that "Intelligent Cloud" implies the existence of a "Moron Cloud" unit.

They also have a "More Personal Computing" segment, not to be confused with "Deeply Personal Computing" or "Inappropriately Personal Computing;" all of these are of course euphemisms for teledildonics.

Imagine how much money Microsoft could make if they decided to actually make enough Xboxes to meet demand a year and change after launch.

Well you see Kevin, if they said the Azure only number it would look bad. If they reframe it this way it looks less bad.

https://twitter.com/23359201/status/1486110053903990784

"Our Azure consumption business." Isn't that what killed a bunch of people on the Oregon Trail?

Now Q&A. Starting with @MorganStanley asking Omnicron disruption impact.

Oh god a question about "the metaverse." Suddenly a lot of this web3 nonsense becomes clear; it's about swindling financial analysts.

"Please only ask one question." So far the analysts are doing it. I assume the @WellsFargo analyst will have 20.

Now a question from Brad at @DeutscheBank asking about "the massive skills gap in IT." What about the massive skills gap in analysts who ask questions, Brad?!

The answer is a combination of LinkedIn and certifications. Ugh, not a great approach to my mind.

Sadly I have to drop due to a conflict on my schedule. Thanks for riding along; we'll do this again for Amazon's call on February 3.